9 Old-Fashioned Comforts That Help on the Hardest Days

I admit there are days when I let myself feel a little down. I’m not doing my best work, and so I feel guilty.

I’m not prioritizing my marriage, and so I feel a bit lonely.

I’m not being as present as I’d like, and so I feel like a bad parent.

It doesn’t matter that I know better— know that wallowing will only be counterproductive— I stay in this low-grade funk all day long, stuck between how I’m living and how I know I should be living.

I was in one of those moods recently, and knew I had to break the cycle. I needed to introduce some positive energy into my life, but wasn’t feeling drawn to anything productive.

It was then I decided to make a list of all the simple comforts of life that my dad had taught me to enjoy. Stupid, little things mostly, but each of them brought a smile to my face just thinking about them.

I reveled in those memories for a few minutes, and you’ll see the long list of items from my dad’s example that I came up with. This was enough to get me over the hump and take on a small task on my to-do list, which I knew would be energizing (but I just couldn’t bring myself to do earlier).

I think it can be healthy, when you’re self-aware, to indulge yourself in comfort activities like this when you’re trying to break out of a mental spiral. It’s better than mindlessly scrolling, because you’re still using your brain and reflecting on what it is you enjoy about being alive.

My list is deeply personal, and not meant to be something you copy. Instead, I hope it serves as an example that makes you think about your own list, and how you can use that knowledge to improve your own mood.

Indulging in a nap

I used to think taking a nap was a bit lazy, and wasn’t sure why my dad needed to take so many of them. But now I understand completely. Naps are, of course, restorative. But there’s more to it than that. There’s a certain self-indulgent pleasure in walking away from the busy world around you, and retreating to a dark, quiet place for a few minutes of rest.

Grabbing a slice of pizza

It didn’t matter how good or bad my dad’s day was going, he was always down to grab a slice of pizza and enjoy it with someone else. It’s hard to explain why this was so fun, but I think it’s that you’re getting to do something that’s normally considered a special treat during a time when you might otherwise be doing something you’d rather not.

Observing the world around you

As long as I’ve known him, my dad has never needed to be in a hurry. Everywhere he goes, he leaves early and takes his time getting there. And it’s not uncommon to see him stop along the way and start a conversation with some old neighbor or just about anyone he’s in the mood to talk to. I’m not as outgoing as my dad, and so for me, this means slowing down and observing the world around me: people, animals, and nature.

Eating a donut and drinking coffee

As a kid, Sunday mornings were special because my dad would take us kids to the grocery store to grab donuts for our family. Back then, I thought donuts were about the best thing in the world, and while my tastes have changed a bit, I still love a big, fluffy donut from the grocery store. In fact, that’s still the highlight of my son’s week. I hope these memories stay with him too.

Reading the newspaper

I can still picture my dad sitting in his armchair reading the newspaper and shouting out an interesting or funny story to whoever was nearby. This image in my mind is why I still make the effort to read the news in a physical newspaper whenever possible, even though my phone is so much more convenient. It makes the experience feel more like an act of leisure and invites me to just take my time and enjoy it.

Listening to music

My dad was always playing a song on our piano in the living room, or spinning a record on our big stereo in the basement. More than anyone I know, he seemed to really love music in all its forms. Now that I’m older, I see what he loved so much. Music is one of the cheapest ways to indulge yourself. It’s free if you want it to be, and can transport you to a whole different emotional context.

Watching sports

These days, sports are big business and a little too corporate for my tastes, but back when my dad was growing up, they were just a fun way for people to prove themselves to one another. That spirit still exists, even if it’s been amplified, and one of my favorite ways to unwind on a lazy afternoon is to pop on a random sporting event and fall asleep on the couch watching it.

Talking on the telephone

Ever since my dad retired, he has this habit of calling me when he’s on his way to pick up my mom after work. It’s a relatively short drive, about 15 minutes, and so we don’t have time to get too deep into any conversation, but it’s a real highlight of my day. My dad and I are very comfortable with each other, and the conversation is usually light and amusing— the perfect antidote to a heavy day.

Going out for ice-cream

Earlier in life I seldom appreciated the little pleasures that my dad seemed to love. He’d eat a bowl of ice-cream nearly every night in the summer and take our family to a local ice-cream shop with an outdoor counter. I think I just assumed food should have more nutritional value, and so I rarely indulged myself in these ways. I realize now that this was a mistake. It’s hard not to be in a good mood when you’re licking a delicious treat, and even more fun when you’re doing it with someone you care about.

Conclusion

For better or worse, we live in a world where much of our time is spent on screens— either working, texting, or consuming content.

I’m not against these things, but I do wonder if we’re leaving some of the best, most comforting, and healthiest ways of unwinding and de-stressing. All of the items on my list, simple though they are, serve to comfort me in a way that left me better prepared to face my responsibilities once I was finished.

I think we all need to get to know ourselves better, so we can care for our bodies and souls in ways that increase our long-term well-being.