The Things Nobody Warns You About Getting Older

I have the privilege of being anywhere from 5 to 25 years younger than most other writers in the “lifestyle” space of the internet. Being in my mid-thirties means I don’t have as much experience as the next guy, but it does mean I’m a few years ahead of my younger peers.

Of course, the older you are, the more you’ve experienced, which means the better you are at seeing a broad perspective of life rather than just your own narrow vantage points. My advice will always be to surround yourself with people older than you. There is much to learn from them.

A curious thing that happens when you start to get older (at least in my experience so far) is that you start to become preoccupied with the process. You’ve crossed an inflection point where you can only get older, and naturally, you want to make the best of it.

If you’re in your twenties, you may not be giving this subject any thought, which is only natural. Younger people have different priorities, as they should.

Although I’m still relatively young, I’ve already had the opportunity to reflect on the many changes that come with aging. Even the shallowest among them seem fascinating to me now.

I’m not sure I’ve reached any definitive conclusions about what’s good or bad about aging. Still, my hope is that by spending more time thinking about it, I’ll inevitably be more intentional in making the most of the days that have been given to me—and that’s a wish that I hold for all of you as well.

Today, I’m going to share some of the things that have surprised me the most about getting older. While I do plan to write more candid and straightforward advice about topics such as this, I think there will be a place for more playful and observational blog posts in my future. I don’t think we should be put off by such writing simply because it doesn’t add value to our lives in an obvious sense. I like to think that collecting my thoughts on this subject may even inspire you to open your eyes to some of the less obvious but still interesting aspects of your own experience in this world.

Your sense of style freezes in time

I’ve experienced this phenomenon both in myself and by observing those older than me. My intuition is that people in their late teens and twenties are most concerned with conforming to the style of others because they are still figuring out who they are. As they age, people generally become more confident and self-assured, and as a result, they are inclined to keep doing and wearing what has worked for them in the past. The strange part is that there’s a certain age when most people stop caring about trends and wearing what is considered cool, and that age seems to be surprisingly low. How far this tendency goes is likely to depend on your profession, personality, and who you surround yourself with.

Your curiosity about the world grows as your physical strength declines

I’m not sure if this observation applies to everyone, but it certainly rings true for me. In my younger years, I was interested in only a few things, namely sports, friends, and staying fit. But as I’ve gotten older, my interests have multiplied beyond what I could have imagined, while the time and energy to pursue them all have continued to shrink. Most notably, I’ve grown curious about a wide range of academic subjects, even though I was a strong liberal arts student in high school. I now have a genuine desire to know and understand the world around me. My curiosity has ballooned far beyond what I could have imagined.

It becomes increasingly difficult to surpass your previous limits

There’s a strange age in your twenties when you feel like you can do just about anything. The world is your oyster, and you have a near-infinite amount of time to pursue any goal you want and still attain your professional ambitions and start a family. At some point, that reality comes into sharper focus, and you realize that with each passing year, a new set of constraints emerges in what you may or may not be able to accomplish. It’s a natural part of life, and even though we know it’s coming, it will eventually surprise us all, just as it did our predecessors.

You begin to notice the physical signs of aging but don’t feel older

I used to wonder if people, as they aged, would still feel young inside. I now know the answer to that question and can attest to the fact that the person you are in your early twenties is remarkably similar to who you will be for the rest of your life, albeit with more experience and a bit more maturity, I hope. However, you will still feel like yourself—that fresh, naive, adventurous, and anxious person you’ve always been.

Things don’t get easier just because you have more experience

One aspect that has surprised me about growing older is that, as a child, you always hope life will get easier. But as you age, you come to terms with the fact that life will continue to be hard. The challenges of adulthood are real, and they don’t go away when you have kids or get married. In fact, they often get harder. But paradoxically, life also gets richer, more varied, and more interesting. With each passing year, you become more grateful for life’s simple blessings, and at least in my case, realize you have less to complain about anyway.

Being young is more about who you surround yourself with than your actual age

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is about Caleb, who in his old age still felt young. I think much of that has to do with what he surrounded himself with. Though I’m not yet old in the chronological sense, I know my heart and how I want to live. I don’t want to be someone who is weighed down by adulting and has lost the lightheartedness that many young people possess. I believe that as long as I’m alive, God has a purpose for me, and I want to pursue it with the same eagerness and enthusiasm I had when I was younger.