Things That Looked Like Failures But Turned Out to Be Blessings

Sometimes we make plans that don’t work out. Even plans we’re convinced are leading us where we want to go.

In the moment, it’s easy to see those plans as failures because they didn’t deliver the things you wanted. But in time, you realize they changed your trajectory in ways you couldn’t have seen from the beginning. You just had to give up the original vision to see it.

I’m only 35 but I’m already seeing this pattern come to life.

Life rarely develops in the neat, tidy lines we envision at the start of our journey. Thankfully, our feelings in the moment aren’t always helpful guides for how things will turn out. What appears to be a setback could be pushing you towards an unconsidered path that holds even greater happiness.

Let me share a few examples from my life of how this has happened…

There was a time when I thought I’d be a missionary

I was super involved in my faith and loved the idea of being on the front lines to spread the good news. While that calling didn’t pan out, I’ve discovered many other ways to live out my faith and find deep purpose along the way.

I also once thought I’d be a graphic designer

In high school, I taught myself photoshop and dreamt of working for a cool company while flexing my creative muscles. What I learned was that I enjoyed the creative process, but I didn’t want to be drawing things on a computer screen all day. That seed of desire eventually turned into this blog, where I get to combine my love of writing with my passion for creating something beautiful.

In college, I had ambitions of being a runner

I wanted to get faster and faster and maybe one day complete a marathon. But despite running nearly every day for years, I never got much faster and started burning out on the hobby. It was a huge mental switch to see that as anything but a huge failure, but with time it’s become obvious that the journey was the whole point. I developed a love for the outdoors and a passion for health that shaped my daily life ever since.

There’s more stories like this that I want to share. More things I tried that didn’t work out like I hoped, and yet somehow became integral to the person I am today. I’ll share those examples below, but first let me share a few principles that I’ve extracted from this exercise.

First, acknowledging these detours as they’re happening

and not just in hindsight is a powerful tool for staying mentally resilient when things don’t go your way.

Second, I’ve learned that very few long-term projects are a waste of time

While the outcome might not pay out as expected, the journey itself will change you, open doors, or develop a skill that pushes you towards something new.

And third, looking at life this way helps you to embrace uncertainty

and explore new paths. The very worst that can happen is that the path will eventually lead to somewhere interesting. You won’t end up where you started.

I got kicked out of the honors program in college

Back in college, I was invited to be a part of the honors program at my university. It seemed like a huge deal at the time, and made me proud of my accomplishments. Unfortunately, I was kicked out of the program for not meeting the GPA standard. At the time it felt like the biggest failure of my life, but in hindsight I can see it was one of the best things that happened to me. Without the weight of the program, I felt free to explore a wider range of classes that sparked my interest, and eventually discovered my love of writing.

I made only $1 (lifetime) on the iPhone app I built

When the original iPhone came out, I was a huge fan right from the beginning. When they announced the ability for anyone to start building mobile apps, I knew I had to learn how to do that. I spent hundreds of hours teaching myself a new programming language from scratch and developing my own app— which was a complete flop. The app never took off, but those hours of learning and practicing eventually landed me a job at a tech company where I met my wife. You never know where these paths might take you, you just have to take them as far as they go.

I never got a single freelance programming job

While I didn’t make any money from my app, I was able to use it as a portfolio piece in my search for freelance programming jobs. I created a website and started marketing myself as a mobile developer, but never landed a single job. That effort combined with the app, however, was enough to land a full-time job at a well-respected tech company.

I got laid off in my first job post-college

Because of my self-taught programming skills I was hired by a small startup months before I graduated.

Our family got kicked out of our rental house

I once had a young family (two kids under two) kicked out of our rental home. The landlord had decided to sell the house and we had to find a new place within a month. It was a huge stress in my life at the time. But after a ton of searching, we landed in a new rental in a great neighborhood near a trail that we could take walks as a family. I don’t think we would have ever considered the area we moved to if it weren’t for that forced decision.

We had to delay our honeymoon trip

Soon after getting kicked out of our rental, my wife and I were planning our long awaited honeymoon trip to Italy. We were among the many disappointed Covid travelers whose plans were completely put on hold. In our case, we were eventually able to go on our trip, and in many ways, the delay made it more enjoyable. We were grateful just to be there, and not taking a single moment for granted.

I spent an entire summer applying to MD/PhD programs and got nowhere

After college, I briefly considered going into medicine and getting one of those degrees that would allow me to be both a doctor and a scientist. I spent an entire summer studying for the MCAT and applying to schools, only to realize that the pursuit of those degrees would take me too far from some of my other goals. While the whole effort might seem like a waste, it was during this time that I developed my interest in reading about health and medicine, which has been an enjoyable part of my life ever since.

A year with many friends but no social life

In college there was a season where I was many friends, but very little depth to those friendships. I fell into being a people pleaser and made the mistake of saying yes to just about everything and trying to be everywhere at once. I was overcommitted and eventually felt burned out on friendship and seeking to please others. In the end, it was an experience I had to go through to learn what I truly wanted and what made me happy. I came out the other side with a deeper understanding of the kind of life I wanted to live, and the kinds of friendships I wanted to cultivate, and I was better off for it.

Do you have any of these stories in your own life? Times when things didn’t turn out like you planned, but left you better off in the end? Maybe things you initially saw as failures, but in hindsight have turned out to be a good thing?

I encourage you to remember those stories and call them to memory next time you feel like you’re failing. It worked out in the past, and it probably will again.