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There are some moments in life that feel like heaven on earth. The particular experiences I’m thinking of can’t be manufactured or demanded, and so they always arrive as a happy surprise. I call this the joy of serendipity.
Joy: marked by a feeling of great pleasure and happiness
Serendipity: an unexpected occurrence that develops in a happy or beneficial way
Maybe it’s a playful conversation with a stranger that might be the spark of a new friendship. Or a single joke that sends a group of old friends roaring with laughter. It could be a romantic look or a platonic smile, a serious moment or a silly one.
The commonality is that they leave us with a feeling of being alive, close to those around us, present in the moment, and hopeful towards the future. It sometimes feels like you’re watching a movie of your own life.
Of course, It is one of my hopes to increase the number of these moments in my life, but in that pursuit I have learned a few things along the way.
You can’t overly plan these experiences
By using the word “serendipity” I’m not suggesting that life is random and has no purpose, but rather that our lived experience often feels unexpected and surprising. When life’s unexpected moments unfold in a way that brings us joy and makes us feel alive– well, that’s exactly what I’m talking about.
It’s my experience that the joy of serendipity most often strikes when there’s less hype and lower expectations. High expectations often mean that we’re expecting the world to conform exactly to our hopes and pleasures. This is a recipe for disappointment.
The perfect posture for joyful serendipity is to be completely present in the moment with a dash of playfulness and a sprinkling of adventure. You don’t want to be “stuck in your own thoughts.” Like a good improv student, the key is to adopt a “yes and” mindset: embrace the opportunities presented to you each moment and expand on them.
You can’t make them your sole aim
As much as we enjoy moments of joyful serendipity, I don’t think they were ever meant to be the main dish of life. They are more like the spice of life, adding flavor and excitement to an already satisfying meal.
When we’re busy taking care of our responsibilities and living a life of love and purpose, we aren’t looking to these serendipitous moments to define us. We aren’t looking to them as a reason to get up in the morning.
If we give them that space, moments of joyful serendipity are free to do what they do best: surprise us, make us feel alive, awaken our senses, engage our emotions, and give us a renewed appreciation for those around us. These moments of heightened emotional experience are the stuff that memories are made of.
You should be grateful and not demand an encore
One of the dangers of intensely pleasurable and memorable experiences is that we don’t know how to receive them for what they are. For example, when we read books or watch movies depicting serendipitous joy, we can easily mistake them for “real life” itself. But as we all know, real life is made up of much more ordinary moments that don’t take your breath away.
The ultimate goal of these moments, like all of life, is to provoke gratitude. They are divine gifts given to refresh us, move us, and fill us with wonder. The way to receive a gift is with a smile, a word of thanks, and enjoyment. Relish those moments and then relive them in your mind. Talk about them with friends and reminisce. Even go so far as to cultivate the right environment to create new moments, but never, ever demand an encore. That is not our right. And it destroys the spirit in which these gifts are to be received.
Enjoy
The joy of serendipity is a gift and so it can’t be forced, manufactured, or demanded. Like all gifts, they must simply be received and enjoyed. I wish you many such moments in your life, and the ability to recognize them for what they are.
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