The Ultimate Guide to Date Nights with Your Children

There are not too many phrases that get our kid’s excitement level to go through the roof other than these two words– “date night”. 

Just the thought of a special activity with one parent, no other siblings, and 1:1 attention all to themselves has our children excited for the weeks leading up to it. Date nights are like holidays in our house, because they create so much thrill and childhood innocence. 

Since our first child was a toddler, we saw the importance of doing regular date nights with her, but we weren’t great at planning or executing them. Our routine was very inconsistent and spur of the moment, yet our daughter loved them and talked about them often.

Then my parents started doing date nights with each of their grandkids once they turned 5 years old (an activity and a sleepover). We noticed how well they planned for these special times and the bond it created between them and their grandchildren. 

As our children emerged from the infant and toddler stages and became more developed with thought, personality, and ability, we wanted to give them the attention they needed in the midst of our growing family and busy lives. 

But it’s difficult (and nearly impossible most days!) to give each of our children 1:1 attention while we are at home because there’s always another sibling there to demand our attention or wanting to share the same lap during a read-aloud. 

Date nights outside of the home are our sweet spot. We’ve learned how they best work in this season of life with our family and they are now some of our most cherished memories with each of our kids. 

Below are a few of our best tips on how we’ve made date nights into a monthly tradition that doesn’t feel like just one more thing to add to the calendar, but is something that my husband and I also look forward to.

Date Night Tips:

• Write it down on your calendar…anticipation is half the fun!– This is a huge one for us. Friday afternoons are usually a good time for my husband and I to do a date with our kids, so our daughter’s date is the first Friday of the month, our son’s is the third Friday. It’s helpful to see it on the calendar for our planning purposes, but also having our kids count down the days until their special date is something they get really excited about.
• Have your child help to choose the activity– When we give our kids the chance to help us plan their date, it creates more excitement and anticipation. We always give them a handful of possible options according to the season to choose from (because our daughter would choose Disney World or the beach if she had 100% say).
• Send your child an invitation– After you have your date on the calendar and the activity chosen, send your child a handmade invitation. Our daughter loves to make cards and notes for us and other people, so when we make them for her it’s one of her most prized possessions.
• Keep it close to home (most of the time)– Depending on how much time you have for the date or the age of your child, it’s usually a good idea to stick with an activity that is close to home. With some creativity and flexibility, there are endless possibilities for date night ideas that are within half an hour of your home. See our list below.
• It doesn’t have to be “special” to be special (and it doesn’t have to cost a lot.)– Each month as we plan our special time with each child, I’m reminded that these dates don’t have to keep getting bigger and better in order to be special. Yes, children get a thrill from novelty and new adventure, but I think what they treasure most (and I do too) is doing something with someone who loves them most. Even if it’s an activity as small as a hike on a new trail, getting cookies at a coffee shop, or finding a fun playground– if your heart is in it, your child will feel so treasured.
• It doesn’t have to be long– Depending on how old your child is, your date with them doesn’t need to be an all afternoon event. Toddlers run out of energy as bedtime or nap time approaches, and as a busy parent you don’t need the expectation of taking 6 hours out of your day for every single date. An hour or two is all we typically do and it’s plenty of time for meaningful connections with our kids.

Come prepared to have meaningful conversation– For our family, the most important parts of these dates with our kids is to talk with them, listen to their thoughts, and grow into a deep friendship with them. To encourage ongoing conversation, consider bringing a “date night jar” along with you, which has questions written down on slips of paper that prompt fun, serious, silly, random, or thoughtful questions to keep the conversation moving.

To grab the PDF of our date night jar questions, download here.

• Reminisce about previous date nights– After the date is over, keep the excitement alive by sharing special memories, inside jokes, or stories from your time with your child. Our kids remember the smallest details of special events and bring them up often, so we use that as a way to share nostalgic memories together. 

30 Date Night Ideas

1. Visit a new (or favorite) park or playground
2. Visit a nearby creek and go exploring (around it or even in the creek)
3. Play a game or do a puzzle (bring a blanket and sit outside or find a table at a coffee shop)
4. Go on a picnic (have your child pick the menu)
5. Go out for fresh donuts
6. Play mini golf (unless your child is less than 3…we learned this one the hard way!)
7. Go out for a special dessert and hot drink (hot cocoa and cookies are a favorite for us)
8. Volunteer at a local food bank or shelter (a great one for older kids)
9. Visit a museum
10. Go on a nature walk (bring a bag along to collect cool items)
11. Go to a sporting event (at the local high school or a minor league/major league stadium)
12. Visit a trampoline park or bounce house 
13. Paint your own ceramic pottery
14. Go to the zoo
15. See a movie in the theater
16. Visit the arcade or Go-Kart track
17. Get your nails done
18. Go to a local swimming pool (indoor or outdoor)
19. Go bowling
20. Take a painting class together
21. Go on a bike ride 
22. Go to a candy shop and allow your child to fill a small bag of candy
23. Build something together (this can be anything if you’re handy)
24. Have a tea party in the backyard or go to a tea room
25. Stay up late to watch a movie with popcorn (and sleep in the living room with sleeping bags!)
26. Grocery shopping (I loved going grocery shopping with my Mom when I was little)
27. Feed the ducks (start collecting bread ends the week before the date)
28. Go to a play, concert, or ballet (The Nutcracker is a great one to see at Christmas)
29. Visit the pet store
30. Make your driveway or sidewalks beautiful with sidewalk chalk art

You Don’t Have to Do It All

I think most parents would agree to date nights and special events with your children are a great thing to do, however sometimes these good things feel like one more thing to do in the midst of an already busy schedule.

We’ve been there. 

Adding new routines and commitments (even great ones, like date nights) to your possibly already busy life as a parent is hard and there are no easy, straightforward answers to solving the dilemma of how much to take on. 

Mike and I are constantly reevaluating how we spend our time with our kids and seeing what areas are in need of devoting more or less time, because it’s easy to keep piling our schedule with more and more, but that comes with the risk of becoming burned out as a parent. 

Here’s a few of our thoughts that go into determining how we can make date nights both life-giving to our children and simple enough to add to our schedule. If you’re new to starting date nights with your children, consider these ideas first. 

• You can’t do it all– Just because you see a good idea, doesn’t mean you need to incorporate it into your life right now. And don’t allow yourself to feel guilty for saying no.
• Evaluate your activities- When your time is precious and hard to come by, only allow in new activities that will be beneficial rather than burdensome.
• Start small and simple- Start with a commitment to do 2 date nights with each child. Keep them cheap, close to home, and relatively short. After that, see what kind of impact it had on your family and decide if you want to keep doing them.  
• Give yourself grace- We certainly don’t plan extravagant date night experiences with our kids and we give ourselves grace if we need to reschedule, rearrange, or reevaluate. 

I hope you found this post encouraging if you are already doing date nights with your kids or just getting started with the idea. I’d love to hear how date nights have been successful in your home, ideas of which ones work well for your family, or any questions you may have.