11 Ways to Be Kind to Your Kids

As humans, the pursuit of happiness lies at the forefront of our very nature. Don’t we all desire to be happy in some sense or another? 

We can seek happiness through any number of things, some more rewarding and lasting. But consider how putting aside our own natural self-centered tendencies can bring pleasure to both us as well as others. 

Showing kindness towards others (especially my kids who I spend my days with), lies at the root of what I want to be remembered by as a parent. Many days, being kind and patient is hard. But seeing the overwhelming benefits of speaking gentle words rather than annoyed, impatient ones allows me to not only teach my children how to speak to one another, but allows me to enjoy and savor this season of motherhood so much more. 

Here are 11 ways that I can show kindness to my children and by doing so not only makes them more happy kids, but also creates an environment where kindness is a virtue that is given more frequently. Please remember while reading this post, that I am by no means an expert at showing kindness to my children, but am challenged to live out this quality as best as I can each day. 

11 Ways to Show Kindness to Your Kids

1. Listen to them. 

Making children feel heard and acknowledged allows them to sense that they’re cared for. Instead of trying to finish something while also giving an ear to my child, I aim to look them in the eye and even get down on their level. 

I allow them to talk. Then I respond with an answer that shows that they were heard and what they said matters. If I desire my children to listen to my words and directions, I need to model how to do this by giving them the same respect. 

2. Respond with patience.

Even the most even-keeled, patient mothers have their buttons pushed at the constant requests, whiny behaviors, or amount of times a child asks “why”. It’s often easier to give a harsh remark, but responding with patience reminds children that they are still loved and valued. 

When faced with a situation like this, I find that taking a deep breath gives me a few seconds to process what’s being asked. I’m much more likely to respond with a patient answer than a quick, unkind comment.

3. Have a good laugh with them. 

Choosing to laugh with our kids and taking a moment to see the humor in life is one that comes easily for my husband. Both he and the kids find so much enjoyment and happiness out of giggling over a silly word or gently poking fun at each other. 

The other day, my daughter and I noticed how funny my one-year-old son looked in a dress-up outfit. We both had a great laugh as we keeled over giggling over something that we both could find enjoyment from. 

She’s brought up that instance several times since then, looking back fondly at that time of connection with one another. 

4. Give them grace.

Correcting our kids and having them learn from their mistakes is something that happens a lot. Many times, an instance of misbehavior results in some sort of consequence. But there are times where we feel that what’s really needed most is grace and the conversation that follows. 

It’s an opportunity to extend a loving embrace and say, “What you did was wrong, but I still love you and always will”. And an ability to give them a second chance, even when it’s undeserved. 

5. Greet your child with warmth and love upon waking up. 

The first words I say to my children as they wake up determine how our morning will begin. I may be nearing the end of my own quiet time but when they burst out of their door at 7:15 a.m. I greet them with a hug, ask them how they slept, and tell them that I’m so glad to see them today. 

6. Stop what you’re doing and play with them. 

There’s something so childlike and innocent about getting down on the floor and playing with your kids. Sometimes, I need to push pause on my to-do list and tell them “Sure!” when they ask me to play with them. 

The dishes can wait to be washed, the email can hold off on being sent, but kids are only little for a short time. I don’t want them to remember me always saying “just wait” or “in a minute” but want them to hold onto the times where I put them above my own needs. 

7. Surprise your child by doing one of their chores. 

Our preschool-aged children each have their handful of age-appropriate chores that they are responsible for completing each day. Oftentimes, we help them with their chores, because this is a part of teaching them how to do the job well. 

But occasionally, we like to surprise them with doing one of their chores completely. The look of surprise and thankfulness they give when realizing that we cleaned up their room or made their bed is priceless. 

Going out of your way to do a random act of service for someone shows them how much they are loved. Recently, I sat folding towels on the living room floor. After my daughter was done doing her own evening chores, she sat down on the rug next to me and began folding towels. She looked over and smiled and said she just wanted to help me because she knew I would appreciate it.

8. Leave the phone inside and play with them when you go outside. 

It’s easy to sneak in a few minutes here and there by checking social media, which for me usually turns into more than a couple of minutes. To avoid this temptation, I’ve learned that leaving my phone inside the house allows me to be more present with my kids when we are outside playing.

They love when I race them around the house or swing on their swing set with them. I want our outdoor times to be remembered as doing them together, not watching me on my phone. 

9. Show affection.

Each of our kids have different personalities and emotions, but they all still love to be held, kissed, snuggled, or tickled. It creates a sense of closeness and warmth as their little bodies embrace with mine. If they linger with a hug, I try not to push them off and move onto the next task. 

They won’t always want to sit on my lap, hold my hand, or have me softly tickle their back so I’m going to cherish these days where we can connect through affection.

10. Take an interest in their creations.

Being creative and doing all sorts of artwork is something our daughter has greatly enjoyed since she was a toddler. The amount of tape, stickers, glue, paint, gems, and colored paper we go through is mind blowing! 

Since it’s something she’s passionate about, she puts a lot of time and effort into her creations. When she finishes, she usually hands it to us and says, “It’s for you!”. To show her how much I appreciate this part of her personality and the sweet gift she made, I always try to tell her how much I love her artwork, how creative she has gotten, and then display the piece somewhere in our house so she knows that I cherish these creations. 

11. Empathize with their emotions.

Being a child and having that innocent sense of the world is something to be treasured. However, they’re also learning to form their opinions, definitions of right and wrong, and sort through their fears and worries. If one of my kids is scared or sad, I try to hold them closely and empathize with how they’re feeling, even if it is a silly reason to be sad. 

Empathizing with their emotions allows them to build their trust in me, knowing that I’m not going to brush their feelings aside and tell them to just be brave. Sure, there’s a time to tell them “you’re okay!” and quickly move on, but for times that they need more reassurance, I want to make sure to care for their developing hearts.