9 Ways To Find Balance in Motherhood

Motherhood can be translated hundreds of different ways. It’s been the most challenging, but beautiful experience I’ve encountered yet. Each day, I get a chance to love my children again. A fresh start. No matter what yesterday held, every morning when their bare feet come bounding down the hall, eager to jump into my arms, I get another chance to be their mommy. 

There’s something that has been tugging at my heart for the past few years as I’ve settled into the role of staying home to raise my children. 

Something that I don’t want to regret doing wrong when my kids are grown and our relationship has gone from a state of dependence, to independence. Something that I feel called to be mindful of in these early years, where their lives are still very impressionable. 

How do I find balance in motherhood?

Many days, I feel the constant tug between my to-do list and being present with my kids. I have a deep desire to make strong connections with my children, display generosity and love towards them, and create wonder in their growing minds. 

You may be a mother who also strives for these ideals, but as I reflect upon them, I realize that even though they are beautiful virtues, they all involve a pouring out of myself– giving my time, energy, and self. 

So how do I find a balance that allows for these ideals while still being able to take care of myself and my home? How do I make time for my children and avoid feeling guilty about saying “no, not now” when they plead for my time? 

Balance of anything in life takes time to get right. As mothers, we never earn the gold star of approval that comes from our efforts day in and day out. There’s no official rulebook telling us what’s right and wrong. 

A balanced approach to motherhood should come from your heart, be truly beneficial for yourself and kids, and give you the passion and strength to get up each day and keep being a mother. 

A healthy approach to finding balance

Finding balance in motherhood begins with intentionality and the realization that there will be seasons of busyness and seasons of rest. There will be days of productivity around the house and days of constantly entertaining or snuggling your babies.

Each day might not have a perfect balance between productivity and being present with your kids, but what’s more important is that your life as a whole has the ability to feel balanced. 

I’ve learned over the past few years of staying at home to find pockets in my days and weeks that allow for both of these aspects. Below you’ll find some of the ways that I’ve found to be greatly beneficial in finding a balance to motherhood. 

9 Ways I’ve found balance in motherhood

Create realistic expectations. In this season with three young kids also vying for my attention, I’ve learned to be okay with more crumbs, more toys scattered across the floor, and a constant pile of stained shirts soaking in the bathroom sink. There will be years down the road where I’m able to keep a clean, tidy house, but having these little bodies bringing life to our home gives me so much more pleasure than a spotless house. They have their own chore charts and I have my regular cleaning but having healthy expectations has taught me to embrace these years as chances to learn and play, rather than be frustrated with the messes they make. 

Spend planned, meaningful time with your kids. Of course all play can’t be pre planned because raising kids should be filled with adventures, spontaneity, and novelty. But when I can have set parts of my day that I know are dedicated to playing or being with my kids, it allows me to be less distracted and show them that I value our time together. 

We started something called “Mommy and Me time” that we do most afternoons before quiet time. Each of the kids gets 15 minutes of 1:1 time where they can pick an activity to do with me. It might be reading books, giving them a back tickle, making lemonade, or doing art. 

I also use the hours of 10am-12pm to be outside together. Whether it’s a bike ride, walk, or playing in the yard I know my to-do list can wait until later. 

Wake up early. Giving myself about an hour of peace and quiet before the rest of the house wakes up has been one of my favorite routines. I make my coffee. I have my devotions. I prepare myself mentally and spiritually for the day. The occasional days where I have an early rising baby, I feel less patient and calm, so prioritizing sleep in order to make my early morning happen is an important part of this season of motherhood. 

Involve them in your day. Involving the kids into something that I’m already doing is one way of still having conversation and togetherness with them, while I’m still able to get something accomplished at home. My daughter loves to help vacuum or work in the garden. My son enjoys wiping down the kitchen chairs and folding the napkins. I try to find little ways throughout the day that I can involve them, which also instills within them good work ethic and to value our home. 

Go on dates with your kids. Dates with our kids have been one of the best ways we’ve found to spend meaningful time with them. They’re not expensive excursions or all-day adventures, but that short amount of time gives them so much joy and they look forward to their special 1:1 time with us all month. 

Teach them the value of being present. If I want my kids to focus on me or others when in conversation, I need to teach them how to be present. I look them in the eye when we talk. I show them I care by taking interest in their artwork or lego creation. I put down my phone when they ask me a question. I provide them with a time that I can play rather than always saying “no, not now I’m busy”. 

Stop trying to multitask. When it’s time to play or be with my kids, I want to show them I’m present and not distracted by emails or cleaning. Let productive time be productive, by setting clear expectations for your kids, such as “I have to do some laundry now, but in 20 minutes I can read you a book”. Show your kids they are valued and not something you are squeezing into your day.

Make afternoon quiet time essential. Once early afternoon comes, I’m usually in need of some kid-free time! I tell the kids quiet time is for all of us to take a break so we can feel refreshed and ready for the rest of the day. Whether I do something productive around the house, write a blog post, or even just relax and read a book, I cherish this time and have taught the kids that it’s a regular part of our day. I’ll set a visual timer for them and provide them with a variety of crafts, books, or other activities in a quiet space. 

Ask for help. There have been weeks where I felt more overwhelmed with the demands of motherhood and life in general. Asking for help from my husband or mother is one of the best ways that I can help ease this feeling and take a needed break.