Created by Mike Donghia. Subscribe to our blog for free daily updates.
One of the worst things you can do is numb yourself regularly and avoid real life.
Some people do it with drugs and alcohol, but most do it with junk food and endless scrolling on their phones.
While going numb has the advantage of escaping the pain or boredom of the moment, it has the curse of ever-diminishing utility.
Soon, you’ll be bored again, need a bigger hit, and almost nothing will leave you satisfied again.
Life’s ordinary pleasures will start to feel empty and void.
Flirting with your spouse, going for a walk, or listening to a song with good vibes won’t light up the pleasure centers of your brain anymore.
They can’t compare to the slot machine of dopamine that is your phone or the instant pleasure of sugar, salt, and fat delivered in the perfect ratio.
Maybe your numbing drug of choice is spending money, daydreaming, or pornography— whatever it is that keeps you from engaging with the reality of the world outside your head and leaves you feeling emptier than when you began.
For most people, the only way out is to bottom out. Hit rock bottom and realize your mistake. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Instead of running from your life, whatever it looks like right now, you must go as deep as possible.
Immerse yourself as completely as possible in everyday life’s rhythm, flow, and experiences, and drink as deeply as you can of those pleasures.
That’s the only way to lift yourself out. Fall in love with the beautiful monotony of it all. Enjoy the peaks when they come, but don’t demand they last forever.
How do you start living again? Here are 6 ways that have helped me:
Seek out the thrill of rapid forward progress.
Pick a thing, anything, and do it. But don’t just do it; do it with all your might.
Go as fast and as far as you can.
Feel the very human pleasure of progress.
Don’t try to be perfect or even good; just go fast and feel the wind rushing. Sometimes, the only way out of a numb-induced funk is to blast your way out with human energy.
Lose yourself in the rhythm of good music and hard work.
There’s no escaping work in this lifetime. And even if you could, you’d find that you’ve given up a legitimate and innocent pleasure— the gift of honest labor and the satisfaction it brings.
One of the best antidotes to fear or boredom, in my experience, is to turn off your brain and get to work. Turn on a great playlist and give yourself over entirely to the work.
Let yourself have fun and play like a child.
Why do kids get all the fun? As adults of all ages, I think we feel alive in a state of play.
Of course, there’s work to be done, but play is a state of mind without hard and fast rules.
The key is to let go of expectations and stop trying to optimize your day to maximize efficiency.
Do you work but do it your way, trusting your instincts and seeing the surprising places they take you?
Find beauty in the mundane or repetitive.
Life is full of repetition. You can find that boring and resent it, or you can be one of those crazy people who find beauty in it.
For example, there’s a pile of dishes next to your sink that need washing. Pay attention to the gentle pattern of the running water, the circular scrubbing, the rinsing, and the placing away— lean into it and sync your body and mind with that rhythm.
It’s even better when you find the perfect music to match the mood.
Speak with complete honesty to someone you love and trust.
One of the greatest thrills available in life is the rush of emotions from connecting deeply with another human.
The quickest way to achieve this is to let down your guard and stop worrying about what people think.
Just be yourself, ultimately, with nothing held back. Invite others to do the same through your body language and words.
The beauty in this connection is thicker and richer than nearly anything else you’ll experience.
Worship something greater than yourself.
I won’t take the time to defend my beliefs here, but I feel strongly that we are more than physical creatures.
There is a spiritual reality to this world that has been recognized, admired, and worshiped since the beginning of human civilization.
Connecting to this stream and opening your heart and soul to know something greater than yourself are among the surest ways to fill the void you’ve been trying to fill with numbing.
If you enjoyed this article, please support my work by subscribing to my daily newsletter.
