Why I Keep Going Back to the Simple Things

The times of my life when I was most at peace and most content have all been times when I was living simply and avoiding excess of any kind. These periods of my life have included my freshman year of college, my first few months of marriage, and of course those unexpected moments when a vacation goes better than planned and you experience a magical trip.

If I’m being honest, I’ve tried to manufacture a lot of good times in my life. And you know what? A good many of them have been fun and worthwhile, but few have been lasting or deeply fulfilling. They’ve been good memories, but they haven’t been the ones that I chase after, the ones that keep me up at night wondering how to recreate them.

The way I see it, simple living, and the experiences that arise from that pursuit, are as close to a good thing as can be found in this world. And I’m not talking about a bare-almost minimalist approach. I’m just talking about good things done in moderation, and an appreciation for the ordinary pleasures of life that are already at your disposal. I’m not talking about strict rules either, because there is no formula for this. It’s just about finding joy in less, and not chasing after more.

Here are some of the simple things that keep pulling me back over the years. I hope they inspire you to consider your own list of simple pleasures.

Taking a Long Walk

Some of my happiest days in college were spent walking around campus, either making the long trek across north campus to go to a class, or meeting up with a friend to get lunch at the student union. I used to carry the same cup with me all day to refill after getting my morning coffee; another one of those quirky pleasures that so many people would find odd, but just made sense to me. I found walking and carrying my own cup to have this rare sense of connection to the places and people I encountered daily.

Walking, which I also enjoyed in my early days of marriage before we had kids, continues to be one of my favorite hobbies. And one that you can enjoy in pretty much any place. I’ve made it a personal goal of my personal development journey to walk more and embrace the simple framing of life’s pleasures.

Conversations with Friends

If I were to look back in my journals at the many years when I tracked my happiness, one of the clear patterns would be that the best days of my life were typically associated with a long conversation with a friend. Whether those were unexpected get-togethers or planned events, there is something deeply satisfying about connecting with another human being in a meaningful way.

I’ve had long conversations with friends that have left me hoarse, because we were talking so long and in such an animated manner. Those conversations are some of my most treasured memories, and they are in fact, a very simple pleasure, one that is open to anyone who is willing to have a friend and pursue those interactions.

Cooking and Eating

I am a huge fan of food, but not in the gourmet sense. I don’t really appreciate fancy foods, unless they come naturally in the context of a great restaurant experience. I am very happy to just cook and eat the foods that I’ve enjoyed hundreds of times before.

I enjoy a simple pot of spaghetti, or a wonderful stew made in the winter, or grilled meats of all kinds. These basic kinds of foods are something I consider a simple pleasure. Cooking, and then eating with the people you love, is a pleasure that dates back to the earliest days of human history.

Physical Labor

If someone asks me what I enjoy doing, I will typically have a list of a few things that are of interest to me. But if you followed me around for a week, I think you would naturally see that I gravitate towards activities that aren’t on the list of things I mentioned. For example, I love doing even the most boring chores around the house because I find them satisfying and good for my soul. I also enjoy helping people with errands, driving to get groceries and accomplishing things that others find to be mundane. Why do I find these things pleasurable, but not list them as my main interest?

It’s because these are the things I lean on as the pillars of life, my daily bread, if you will. They are the simple things that I can count on, but not necessarily the things that get my heart rate up. They are still, nonetheless, deeply satisfying. And the funny thing is, these things are as close to happiness as almost anything you can find.

That sense of doing a day’s worth of honest work is an occupational hazard in today’s tech-heavy, sedentary economy, but it’s something I recommend everyone makes time for. It is one of those grounding practices that keeps you focused on what is truly important in this life.

Watching Sports

This one might be a little embarrassing for some people to admit, but personally, I love watching sports. It doesn’t have to be live, although I do enjoy going to a game, but even watching a game on television is enough for me to get excited. It’s the kind of simple pleasure that I have enjoyed from the time I was a small child, and many would say is a waste of time in today’s world, but I really enjoy it, and that is something I have decided to accept.

One of the keys to happiness, I believe, is to lean into these simple pleasures as long as they are consistent with your larger value system. If you are training yourself to only do hard things, you will miss out on the joy of the ordinary, and I think come to believe that happiness is only for those who have amazing experiences. It’s far better to enjoy a life of simple pleasures that are at your fingertips, and to make the best of those opportunities in whatever situation you find yourself in.

Gathering with Others

I’m one of those people who gets pleasure not only from the event itself, but from the anticipation of the event. If I have a friend coming into town a few weeks from now, or an invitation to a friend’s house a few days from now, I will spend some of the time before that event thinking about how much I’m looking forward to it.

In my mind’s eye, I will imagine the setting where it might take place, the topics we might discuss, and options for experiences we might try to enjoy together. This is one of my simple pleasures, not just the event itself, but the anticipation.

Reading a Good Book

I started reading a lot later in life. For most of my childhood, especially the younger years, I was extremely discouraged by the act of learning to read. I remember in first grade looking at a book and struggling to decode the words on the pages. I just remember thinking that it was extremely boring and that I wanted to do anything else. Eventually, I read the books that were assigned to me and those that I had to read for school, but I never felt that reading was enjoyable until late in college.

In my senior year of college, I took a philosophy class, and I remember being assigned a particular book on the topic of time. I found the book extremely interesting, and it was the first time that I thought reading a book could be more enjoyable than watching television or playing video games. I’m thankful for that experience, because now I love reading and will sometimes go on vacations where reading is my main activity.

Listening to Music

I’ll end my post with one of the simplest pleasures of all: listening to music. I can’t begin to count the number of times, and in how many different moods I’ve been in, that I found comfort and pleasure in music. I listen to music when I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m preparing for an event, or just trying to settle down for sleep. In each of these settings, and in every season of my life, I remember music to be a loyal companion.

There are times when I go through stages of my life where I listen to less music and maybe get into podcasts or reading, but I always come back to music because it really is a close friend. I think everyone should have a love of music and a connection to a certain style or genre, because if you feel you don’t have this, trust me, you are missing out on one of life’s great pleasures.

Creating New Things

Creating something out of nothing is a special kind of act, a unique expression by us as humans. There doesn’t have to be anything fancy or complicated about the things we create. Whether it’s a piece of art, a sculpture out of clay, music, or a photograph, that act of creation is a gift we give to ourselves and maybe others if we choose to share it. And it’s a pleasure that has no cost besides the time and materials you invest, and one that can be immensely satisfying. You don’t have to be an artist to create, anyone can enjoy bringing something into being that wasn’t there before.