Simple Pleasures That Hit Harder as You Get Older

Take a moment to reflect on your daily life: the typical activities of a weekday and what you do on weekends. Consider what you enjoy—an activity you love or something you look forward to. It could be a small delight, something you find satisfying, or a pleasure of the senses. Perhaps it’s a way you connect with others or a desire to help someone in need. You might derive satisfaction from learning something new or achieving a goal. Maybe it’s as simple as relaxing and letting stress melt away.

Now, think back to your younger self and the things you enjoyed then. Do you see a difference in the way you experience pleasure now versus then? Has the intensity, depth, or breadth of your enjoyment changed? Have new interests emerged, or have some faded away?

There’s no right or wrong answer, just a fascinating truth: the joys of life aren’t static. At least in the case of my wife and me, we’ve noted a steady evolution in the kinds of pleasures that mean the most to us. The way we spend our time in pursuit of these small delights really does shape the kind of people we become. We should, therefore, give a bit of thought to the pleasures that are shaping us and which ones we want to cultivate.

Investing in a hobby

I used to see hobbies as second fiddle to the more “important” aspects of life, but that’s not how they feel to me now. Hobbies feel like a really nice bonus on top of life’s foundation. When you find the right one, they really can inspire you to reach higher and encourage you to be at your best in every area of life. A good hobby also draws you out of yourself with something to get excited about, which is good for your mental health and well-being.

Reading a good book

My love of reading has certainly ebbed and flowed over the years, but when I think back to the periods when I read the most, I think I was at my happiest and most productive. Pleasure reading, like savoring a delicious home-cooked meal, forces you to slow down and focus on what’s in front of you. There aren’t many productive activities that slow your heart rate down—it’s usually quite the opposite—but reading has that rare ability to both relax you and keep you engaged. That’s a great combination if you’re looking to maximize your happiness.

Feeling stronger and fitter

In my younger years, I took my health and fitness largely for granted—not anymore. Somewhere in my mid-30s, I began to notice I was less fit and active than before. I also realized I was feeling more tired and sluggish. Thankfully, I was able to get myself into a new routine and slowly rebuild my strength and endurance. As I enter my 40s, I’m keenly aware of health’s impact on my happiness and plan to continue emphasizing this in my life.

Learning new things

As a parent and an online business owner, I have had to learn countless new things over the past two decades. I was a very curious child, but I think that inquisitiveness faded a bit during my teenage years. Now, as I get older, I realize I like learning new things more than just about anything else. I also see that this very act keeps me young at heart and makes me a more interesting person to talk to—these are good things for anyone, no matter how old you are.

Engaging in a deep conversation

One of the simplest pleasures in life, for me, has always been talking with close friends and family in a relaxed setting. But it’s only more recently that I’ve realized how nourishing these conversations are to my soul. There’s something very reassuring in the familiarity of a good friend—someone who knows you and your quirks and loves you for exactly who you are. These relationships, as they grow over time, become one of life’s greatest treasures.

Accomplishing a goal

Two characters you encounter in literature are the bumbling fool and the innocent child. Each of them, in their own way, are portrayed as happy-go-lucky, not a care in the world. But it’s also clear that these characters are immature and never reached their full potential. Growing up means taking responsibility for your own life and setting goals you hope to accomplish. Reaching one of those goals, whether big or small, is one of life’s most rewarding pleasures. When I fail to set goals and push myself, I find that I slowly become less happy with my life—something I want to avoid as I get older and life gets busier.

Feeling relationally connected to others

When I was younger, there was an aspect of my personality that wanted to achieve great things. I wanted to stand out from the crowd for having done something amazing. Somewhere along the line, that desire lessened, and instead, I began to value simply being a good friend and a good neighbor to those around me. In many ways, this was a trade-off from status and glory to something much quieter and more ordinary. But I don’t regret the change one bit. It’s hard to accomplish great things in life, but it’s easy and incredibly rewarding to be a great friend. The older I get, the simpler and more meaningful this impulse feels, and I’m happy that it’s a part of my life.

One thing I hope you noticed from my reflections is that our tastes and desires really do change and evolve over time. That means that while we’re stuck with our current wants, we can, over time, reshape what we enjoy and what we savor. Just as I’ve learned to enjoy and appreciate new things in my 40s, you can choose to pursue and cultivate new pleasures for yourself in the decades ahead.