What Living With Less Actually Feels Like After a Year

Writing about simplicity and minimalism on the internet means that people ascribe these values to you, and assume you are some kind of expert. And while I do think being intentional about my life is something I value, I’m still very much a work in progress in defining exactly what that means for me and my family.

Minimalism has been a helpful framework to ground my thinking— it loosely describes how I want to live my life in this modern world of abundance and choice. But the reality is that I have so much to be grateful for and enjoy many of life’s good things— from travel to sports to good food to the latest tech gadgets.

The important thing for me is not to lose track of what matters most: deep connections with my family, my faith, and living a mostly unrushed, but purposeful life. That is the version of ‘less’ that appeals to me. And with that in mind, here are some of my reflections on the past year of pursuing that vision.

You appreciate little things more

It may seem obvious that minimalism means having less of something— but the real lesson is that what you have left becomes elevated in your affections. Removing clutter from my home means that the way the light streams through our front window is more noticeable. Watching less TV makes that family movie night feel more special. And eating fewer desserts highlights the enjoyment of a small splurge on the weekend.

You have less to worry about

A major source of my stress is the sense that I’m falling behind and not keeping up with everything I need to get done. This feeling, more than anything, pushes me towards being less pleasant to be around. I get snappy and take out my stress on those around me. Minimalism, for me, is a way to simplify my life and keep my to-do list as short as practical, and as focused on what matters as possible. In the past year, this has helped me to stay calm and better keep my priorities in order when life gets hectic.

You spend more time with people you love

A little over a year ago, I made the decision to stop trying to grow my career in favor of spending more time with my wife and kids. My work was meaningful, but I had the opportunity to spend more time raising my kids and it was a decision I didn’t want to regret. Minimalism, in its best form, is about making tradeoffs like this one, whenever they align with your values and intuition. It’s about having the courage to pursue what matters most, and being willing to give up good things in exchange.

You have more time for hobbies and passions

One area of my life that I’m proud of, is that I incorporated my fitness goals into my normal life, rather than adding them on top of everything else. I know myself too well, and I know that if I did the latter, I’d end up squeezed for time. Ain’t nobody want to be around stressed out dad! My new hobby is going for long, brisk walks, playing sports with my kids, and taking them on long bike rides— basically, incorporating fitness into activities that I’d be doing anyway. It’s win-win all the way around.

You feel more content in comparison to others

Call it FOMO or envy, the feeling is real, and it’s a tough one to overcome when you see others living a life that is different than yours. There’s just something in our genes that doesn’t like feeling that we’re getting left behind and not enjoying the good things in life like others. In my experience, the best way to overcome these emotions is to live a life as close to your values as possible. When you’re doing something you believe in, it’s much easier to not care what others are doing.

You get better at saying no

Minimalism is an aesthetic, it’s an artform, it’s a way of life— whatever you want it to be, it’s not easy. The pursuit of doing less and doing only what matters cannot be understated in a world like ours, which offers an overabundance of nearly everything under the sun. Saying no means leaving good things behind, and only doing what matters means giving up what might help you get ahead. To me, minimalism in this way, is a way of re-asserting my independence and my values— saying that they are worth more than just going along with what’s normal or expected.

You eventually trip up and backslide

My year of minimalism was not a perfect one, and I want to admit that upfront. It sounds great in theory, but in practice, it’s an art that I’m still figuring out. The backslide I’m anticipating is that you keep getting closer and closer to the things you love and enjoy— at the expense of long term projects or goals that don’t immediately feel rewarding. Because my value system is based on my Christian faith, the ultimate test for me will be whether I’m passing through this life with a focus on eternity, or simply doing what feels good here and now.

You occasionally feel guilt for enjoying your life

There were times over the past year when I found myself daydreaming about all the places I’d like to travel with my wife one day, when our kids are grown. And it struck me that these desires were at odds with my minimalist ideals. Shouldn’t I just want the simple life, and be content with what I have in the present? That idea brought a little dose of guilt to my otherwise pleasant daydream. But should it have? I don’t have all the answers here, but I do believe there is a way to enjoy the good things of this life without being a slave to them. That idea is still one I’m pursuing.

You have more beauty around you

One of the best parts of minimalism, for me, has been seeing an increase in beauty all around me. My surfaces aren’t cluttered with papers, my shelves aren’t filled with junk, and my schedule isn’t crammed from morning to night. The end result is a gently flowing rhythm to my days, and an uncluttered visual environment in which to exist. I truly believe, in the deepest parts of me, that an appreciation for beauty is what separates us humans from the animals, and I don’t want to waste the gift I’ve been given.