Reflections on a Month-Long Toothache

In the past month I’ve been to the dentist 5 times and have lived with a level of tooth pain ranging from constant throbbing to sharp sensitivity. Despite being a twice-a-day brusher and daily flosser, I ended up needing a root canal from the ordeal and may possibly need another in the next few weeks.

The discomfort I’ve had to deal with is nothing on the scale of what some people live with on a daily basis. And because it’s physical pain and not emotional, there’s no real stigma to talking about it. And so, in the grand scheme of things, I’m aware that this experience is fairly common to humankind.

However, it has not been common to me. As a healthy 31-year-old guy, my experience with pain has mostly been of the acute variety. You know– broken bones, fingers shut in doors, touching a hot surface, or at worse, a week-long flu. This has been my first experience with pain that makes itself at home and stays a while.

Going through anything for the first time gives you the opportunity to see from a new perspective. I say opportunity as if it’s a good thing you should try. I don’t think anyone should seek out suffering in their life (to any degree), but if it comes, what are you going to do with it? I determined fairly early on that I wanted to grow from the experience and not simply get through it. Below are a few of my reflections:

Compassion is good medicine. 

The whole idea of a root canal is terrorizing if you think about it. So naturally, I was a little nervous about my first one ever. A few days before my appointment the endodontist performing the procedure called me on the phone and talked to me for over 20 minutes. His tone was one of pure compassion. I can’t tell you how much this meant to me and how immediate the effect it had on my level of anxiety.

Money can’t buy the best things in life. 

I once heard it said that billionaire Warren Buffet would give up every dollar of his net worth to be 30 years old again. Who knows if that’s true, but it does highlight an interesting truth. Some people spend their whole lives chasing “someday” happiness, only to find that the greatest gifts were free to enjoy all along: good health, close friends, meaningful work, and a purposeful life. Having my pain-free life put on pause, even for just a month, reminded me not to delay my appreciation for those gifts any longer.

You can adapt to almost anything.

After a month of tooth discomfort, you’d think I’d be at my absolute lowest spirits. The truth is, I’ve gotten used to the sensitivity and have learned to chew on one side of my mouth. And when I wake up in the middle of the night with an ache, I’ve learned to change positions and fall back asleep. If you’d have told me at the start of this ordeal that I’d get used to these things, I wouldn’t have believed you. The lesson I take from this is not to worry about future struggles. From the present, they seem too much, but each day we are gifted with the strength we need.

Love destroys self-pity. 

I experienced some self-pity in the first week of my tooth pain. What bothered me most was that this pain, in such a small part of my body, made it so hard to enjoy many of the things that usually brought me pleasure. How do people live with chronic pain, I wondered? What kind of person would I become if this pain never went away? Determined not to allow my personal happiness to be so fragile, I set about finding my happiness in the least fragile of ways: trying to make other people happy. Wouldn’t you know, I didn’t notice the pain as much after that, but I did notice the way my kids smiled when I met them with a pile of books.

Avoid future regrets with prevention.

In the past 10 years, I’ve been diligent with my dental hygiene, and yet I am still cavity prone. The dentist says my problems today could be the result of less diligence in my younger years. Whether that’s true or not, I know that whatever I can do now to prevent more pain in the future is a trade I’m willing to make. This principle applies to my overall health as well. I can’t avoid aging, but if there are reasonable ways to adjust my behavior today to possibly enjoy another decade or two of good health, that seems like a no brainer to me. I’ll start today with a short run and a green smoothie. 

Curiosity is like magic.

If I have anything close to a superpower, it’s my curiosity. I think of curiosity as an eagerness to experience and understand the world around you. With a curious spirit, even a dental drama can be an opportunity to expand your horizons, not just an episode to endure. I learned what it feels like to live through a season of pain and to make the most of those days anyway. I learned how a root canal is done and how it feels. I was reminded that life is short, aging is certain, and love matters most.