21 Ways to Overcome Fear of Missing Out

Here’s my greatest fear…

That I’m living in the good ol’ days of my life right now, and won’t fully savor them.

It’s common to look back on your life and be nostalgic for a certain period of time, a particular group of friends, or just a younger version of yourself that saw their whole lives before them. I have several of these times that I think about wistfully, including an amazing semester abroad in England, But in real time, you don’t always appreciate how special they are. It’s only when you reflect on one that’s gone that you wish you would have enjoyed it more fully.

Why do we fail to grab hold of the good times when they’re right in front of us? 

I believe the answer lies in our struggle to be fully present. Instead, we live in a perpetual low-level state of FOMO (fear of missing out). We see other people doing cool things that we’re not doing or imagine a better version of our lives that is presently just out of reach. We feel like “real life” will finallly get started when we reach a certain place, but that longing is an illusion and a great big distraction from the current joys in your life.

I’ve got 4 young kids and an amazing wife. I’m determined not to miss out on what I have because I somehow convinced myself that there’s something even better. If you’re in a similar boat, I’d encourage you to read on. 

Here are 21 actionable tips for overcoming FOMO that you can apply today. Don’t wait for the perfect moment to get going, or try to do everthing at once— just pick 3 ideas from this list and imperfectly, but intentionlly start living them out.

1. Practice mindfulness meditation to stay present in the moment. Mindfulness meditation teaches you to focus on the here and now, training your mind to appreciate your current experiences without distraction. By regularly practicing mindfulness, you become more adept at recognizing when your thoughts drift to “what could be” and gently steering them back to “what is.” This helps to combat FOMO by centering your attention on your current activities, enhancing engagement and satisfaction.
2. Limit social media usage to reduce exposure to others’ activities. Social media is a major catalyst for FOMO, as it bombards you with highlights from others’ lives. By reducing your time on these platforms, you shield yourself from constant reminders of what you might be missing out on. This limitation allows you to focus more on your life and less on comparing it with others’, thus alleviating feelings of missing out.
3. Keep a gratitude journal to appreciate current experiences. Writing down things you’re grateful for each day shifts your focus from what you’re missing to what you have. This practice fosters an attitude of appreciation and contentment, making it less likely for you to feel discontented about not participating in other activities.
4. Engage in deep work sessions without digital distractions. Deep work involves focusing on a task without distractions, especially digital ones. This concentration allows you to immerse fully in the task, increasing productivity and satisfaction. When you’re deeply engaged, there’s less mental room for FOMO, as your attention is wholly absorbed by what you’re doing.
5. Plan leisure activities that fully engage your interests. By choosing leisure activities that genuinely interest you, you’re more likely to be fully engaged and satisfied. This engagement makes it less likely for your mind to wander to other possibilities, reducing the impact of FOMO and increasing your enjoyment of the present activity.
6. Cultivate a hobby that requires your full attention and dedication. Hobbies that demand focus and skill development can be very absorbing. As you dedicate time and energy to improve in your chosen hobby, the satisfaction and progress you experience can significantly counteract the feeling of missing out on other activities.
7. Set specific goals and focus on achieving them. By setting clear, achievable goals, you give yourself a structured path to follow. This focus helps to reduce the distractions of other possibilities, as you’re more invested in accomplishing what you’ve set out to do. Achieving these goals brings a sense of fulfillment that can counteract the dissatisfaction often associated with FOMO.
8. Spend quality time with close friends and family. Strengthening bonds with loved ones provides emotional fulfillment and a sense of belonging, which can diminish the effects of FOMO. When you are genuinely engaged in relationships, the desire to be elsewhere or doing something else naturally decreases.
9. Implement a digital detox routine periodically. Regular breaks from digital devices help reset your focus and reduce dependence on constant connectivity. A digital detox provides a reprieve from the bombardment of information and potential triggers for FOMO, allowing you to reconnect with yourself and your immediate environment.
10. Prioritize tasks and commit to completing them before exploring other options. By prioritizing and committing to specific tasks, you reduce the mental clutter of considering all possible activities. This commitment can increase your satisfaction with your choices and decrease the likelihood of feeling regret or FOMO about other unchosen options.
11. Seek therapy or counseling to address underlying anxiety. Sometimes, FOMO is rooted in deeper anxiety issues. Professional therapy or counseling can help you understand and address these underlying concerns, providing strategies to cope with and reduce the impact of FOMO on your life.
12. Practice saying “no” to opportunities that don’t align with your values. Learning to say no to activities that aren’t meaningful to you frees up time and energy for things that are. This discernment helps to minimize feelings of FOMO, as you’re confident that your choices align with your personal values and goals.
13. Schedule regular self-reflection to reassess personal goals and satisfaction. Regular self-reflection allows you to evaluate your satisfaction with your current life path and make adjustments as needed. This ongoing assessment can help you stay focused on what truly matters to you, reducing the impact of FOMO.
14. Participate in community events to feel connected and grounded. Engaging in community activities can provide a sense of connection and belonging. When you’re actively involved in your community, the desire to be elsewhere lessens, as you find fulfillment in your immediate surroundings.
15. Take breaks from work or study to relax and recharge. Regular breaks help prevent burnout and maintain a healthy balance between work and leisure. These breaks can refresh your perspective, making it easier to enjoy your current activities without being preoccupied with other possibilities.
16. Exercise regularly to improve focus and reduce stress. Physical exercise is known to boost mood, focus, and overall well-being. A regular exercise routine, such as walking, can help keep your mind clear and reduce the stress and anxiety that often fuel FOMO.
17. Read books that encourage living in the present. Books focusing on mindfulness, presence, and contentment can provide valuable insights and techniques to combat FOMO. These readings reinforce the importance of appreciating the present moment and can shift your mindset away from constant longing for different experiences.
18. Attend workshops or courses on time management and prioritization. Educational sessions on time management and prioritization equip you with tools to make more deliberate choices about how you spend your time. This knowledge can help reduce the overwhelming feeling of needing to do everything, thus mitigating FOMO.
19. Create a vision board to visualize and focus on personal aspirations. A vision board is a visual representation of your goals and dreams. Having a tangible reminder of what you’re working towards can keep you focused and motivated, reducing the tendency to look at other options with envy or regret.
20. Engage in outdoor activities that encourage immersion in nature. Spending time in nature can be deeply grounding and restorative. Outdoor activities often require your full attention and presence, offering a natural way to escape the digital world and its associated FOMO triggers.
21. Create a personal affirmation practice to reinforce self-contentment. Developing a routine of daily affirmations can significantly bolster your mental resilience against FOMO. Choose or create affirmations that focus on self-sufficiency, contentment, and appreciation for the present moment. Repeating these affirmations regularly helps reframe your mindset, shifting from a focus on what you’re missing out on to a celebration of what you currently have and are experiencing.

12 FAQs About Fear of Missing Out

Still interested in the topic of FOMO?

Some people just want the actionable tips, but others, like myself, are interested in exploring the nuances around a subject that feels important to them. In this last section, I’ve researched and gathered a dozen of the most common questions that get asked on the topic. We cover everything from how exactly social media use contributes to fear of missing out to the differences between FOMO and healthy ambition.

I hope the answers give you something more to chew on, and a place to continue your own learning.

Q: What exactly is FOMO, and how does it differ from normal feelings of envy or jealousy?

A: FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out, is a specific type of anxiety that arises from the belief that others might be having rewarding experiences without you. It’s closely linked to a feeling of being left out or disconnected. Unlike envy or jealousy, which involve desiring what someone else has, FOMO is more about the fear of regret for missing opportunities and experiences. It’s a concern about making the wrong decision on how to spend your time, often exacerbated by social media, which constantly exposes you to the highlights of other people’s lives.

Q: Are there specific triggers or situations that commonly lead to FOMO, and how can I identify them in my life?

A: Common triggers for FOMO include social media posts, stories about peers’ activities or achievements, invitations to social events, and even marketing messages promoting ‘limited-time’ opportunities. To identify your personal triggers, pay attention to moments when you feel a sudden shift in mood after exposure to certain information or scenarios. Noticing patterns in these triggers can help you take proactive steps to manage your response, such as limiting exposure to specific social media content or practicing mindfulness to stay grounded in your own experiences.

Q: How does social media contribute to FOMO, and are there ways to use social media that reduce its impact?

A: Social media contributes to FOMO by constantly showcasing the most exciting aspects of people’s lives, creating a skewed perception that everyone else is constantly having more fun or success. To mitigate its impact, curate your social media feeds to include content that is uplifting or educational rather than envy-inducing. Also, set limits on your usage, and engage in social media mindfully, reminding yourself that what you see is often a highlight reel, not the complete picture of someone’s life.

Q: Can FOMO have long-term psychological effects, and if so, what are they?

A: Long-term, FOMO can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction with life. It can create a perpetual cycle of comparing oneself unfavorably with others, leading to lower self-esteem and even depression. FOMO can also disrupt your ability to enjoy and be present in current activities, as you’re constantly distracted by thoughts of what else you could be doing. Addressing FOMO is crucial for maintaining mental health and overall well-being.

Q: Is FOMO a new phenomenon, or has it always existed in some form in human society?

A: While the term FOMO is relatively new, the underlying feeling is likely as old as human society itself. The fear of missing out on social interactions or opportunities can be traced back to our inner desire to fit in with others that we respect. However, modern technology, especially social media, has amplified and transformed this fear, making FOMO more prevalent and intense in contemporary society.

Q: How does practicing mindfulness specifically combat FOMO, and are there particular mindfulness exercises that are most effective?

A: Practicing mindfulness combats FOMO by anchoring you in the present moment, reducing preoccupation with what you could be missing. Mindfulness exercises like focused breathing, body scans, or mindful walking help to center your attention on the here and now. These practices train your mind to observe thoughts about potential missed opportunities without judgment and gently redirect attention back to the current experience.

Q: Are certain age groups or demographics more susceptible to FOMO, and why might that be?

A: Younger individuals, particularly teenagers and young adults, tend to be more susceptible to FOMO. This susceptibility is often linked to their developmental stage, where social belonging and peer comparison are particularly salient. Additionally, their high engagement with social media platforms, where FOMO triggers are rampant, increases their exposure to situations that can induce FOMO.

Q: How can I differentiate between healthy ambition and the unhealthy aspects of FOMO?

A: Healthy ambition is driven by intrinsic motivation and personal goals, focusing on self-improvement and achievement for personal satisfaction. In contrast, the unhealthy aspect of FOMO is externally driven, motivated by a fear of not keeping up with others or missing out on experiences. To differentiate, ask yourself if your desire to engage in an activity is because it genuinely interests you and aligns with your goals, or if it’s driven by anxiety about being left out or falling behind.

Q: What role do gratitude and contentment play in overcoming FOMO, and how can I cultivate these qualities in my everyday life?

A: Gratitude and contentment are powerful antidotes to FOMO. They shift your focus from what you’re missing to appreciating what you have. Cultivate these qualities by maintaining a gratitude journal, where you regularly note things you’re thankful for, and by practicing mindfulness to savor present experiences. Reflecting on past positive experiences and achievements can also foster contentment.

Q: Can FOMO affect personal relationships, and if so, what strategies can help mitigate this impact?

A: FOMO can negatively affect personal relationships by causing distraction, reducing the quality of time spent together, and creating feelings of resentment or misunderstanding. To mitigate this, prioritize quality time with loved ones, where you’re fully present and engaged. Communicate openly about your feelings of FOMO and work together to create shared experiences that are fulfilling and enjoyable for everyone involved.

Q: Is it possible to completely eliminate FOMO from my life, or is it about learning to manage it better?

A: Completely eliminating FOMO may not be realistic, as it’s a natural response to certain situations. The goal is to learn to manage it better, recognizing when it arises and employing strategies to mitigate its impact. By understanding your triggers, practicing mindfulness, and aligning your actions with your personal values, you can significantly reduce the influence of FOMO in your life.

Q: How can I help friends or family members who are struggling with intense FOMO?

A: To help others struggling with FOMO, start by listening empathetically to their concerns. Share insights about FOMO and its impacts, and encourage them to engage in activities that promote presence and contentment. You can also suggest limiting social media use and practicing mindfulness together. Most importantly, be a supportive presence, reminding them of their worth beyond social comparisons and missed opportunities.