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Welcome to Ask Mike, a regular column on our blog where I give a friendly, but opinionated answer to reader questions. Today, I’ll be answering the following question:
“What are the most important decisions in life?”
Dear Reader,
You are asking exactly the right question. While there are hundreds of little decisions that each of us make daily, there are only a handful in your whole life that make nearly all the difference.
One of the keys to happiness, in my experience, is recognizing these choices and making them well. That seems like a lot of pressure to put on just a few decisions, but don’t worry, I’m going to make things really easy, and practically give you the answers.
How’s that sound? Think of me as a friend slipping you the answers to life’s great test—except the teacher is sitting there nodding her head in approval. It’s all above board!
Decision #1: Who or what will you worship?
All you have to do is look around and realize we were made to worship. If we’re not worshipping money, fame, or beauty we’re making idols out of our ideologies— environmentalism, nationalism, or political affiliations. Many of these lead to dead ends.
The choice of what to worship will determine the kind of person you become, the community you spend time with, and the role you see for yourself in the world. When it comes to your future (and eternal) happiness, there’s not a more important choice you can ponder.
Of course, this is a very personal decision we each have to make. But since you’re reading my “friendly, but opinionated” column, you’re probably looking for a place to start. To me, the figure of Jesus is the most remarkable in all of history, and the gospels of the Bible are uniquely credible and powerful to read. I’d say, pick up the Gospel of John and read it with an open mind.
Decision #2: Who will you marry or do life with?
As your “friendly, but opinionated” friend, I’m going to start off by saying that I think everyone should seriously consider marriage. For the vast majority of people, I think this should be the default opinion they consider, and only special circumstance or calls on your life should deter you from that path.
You’ll probably spend more time with this person than anyone else in this whole wide world, so the choice has obviously big implications. Choose well and you’re setting yourself up for some of the best of what this life has to offer. Choose poorly, and, oh man, you’re in for a world of hurt.
Have no fear, though. Picking a potential spouse is far easier than you’d imagine. I’ll start by suggestion you choose someone who already practices a faith (see: Decision 1). This automatically means you’re fishing from better waters.
The next most important quality is to pay close attention to how they treat others and how they treat you. You’re looking for qualities like patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control— and someone who seems to have joy and goodness in their heart. Oh yeah, these are the fruits of the spirit— you should look them up and try to live them yourself.
Attraction is obviously important, but it isn’t what leads to a happy life. You will grow to be attracted to a person you love.
Decision #3: What will you do for work?
I’m going to pull a bit of a fast one on you here. Because the decision of what you’ll do for work barely matters at all. Yes, there may be jobs that are a better fit than others, but I trust that our own self-interest will guide us towards something better over time.
When it comes to the #3 most important decision in your life, what really matters is “how will you do your work?”
The answer to that is simple: do you work with excellence. No matter what job you’re doing, just choose to do it to the best of your ability. The downstream consequences of this decision will make your life profoundly better in ways you can’t even imagine right now.
You’ll feel more pride in what you do, and naturally enjoy it more. You’ll be rewarded for your efforts and naturally attract like-minded people. Deciding to do you work with excellence, no matter how high or low status it may be, is the one decision that makes all the others easy.
Your friendly, but opinionated friend,
Mike
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