8 Reasons to Make More Small Talk

I’m here to raise the status of small talk. 

It’s not boring, pointless, or a necessary evil.

And you don’t have to rush through it with the goal of getting to a more “substantial” conversation, whatever that means.

Small talk is actually one of the purest and most enjoyable forms of communication when it exists to serve no greater purpose or self-promotion.

The Beauty of a Shared Vibe

At its most beautiful, small talk is simply recognizing the presence of another human, and inviting them into your mental space with warmth and friendliness. It’s a posture of openness and curiosity, an easy exchange between longtime friends or shy strangers.

Small talk can be as simple as making an observation or asking a question, but most of all, it’s an exchanging of vibes with another person. When two people connect, those vibes can lead to smiles, laughter, and a satisfying feeling of connection.

It’s an art form, of course. Some people are naturally gifted, but everyone can get better with practice. And no matter how average you are, there’s always room for more art and there’s always a place for sincere, good-natured small talk.

Why else make more small talk? Here are 8 reasons that come to my mind:

8 Reasons to Enjoy More Small Talk

The pleasure of human connection. We were made to be social. It’s how we’re wired, and what we need to stay sane. Don’t assume this need has to always be met by deep, serious talks— I’ve had many times when my mood was boosted by a light-hearted chat with a stranger in a store or on the sidewalk in my neighborhood.

A measurable lift in your well-being. A 2021 literature review in Association for Psychological Science journal argued persuasively that well-being is not only improved by close friendships (already well-established), but also through loose connections and casual contact with strangers. The authors concluded that we need social contact of all kinds (creatively called Vitamin S) to enjoy good health and happiness.

Change the course of someone’s day. In today’s keep-to-yourself society, the bar of social contact is so low that you don’t even need to be particularly suave to make a huge impact on someone’s day. Your compliment or friendly gesture will be so unexpected that it will instantly light up their brain’s reward center with the good feelings of delight and connection.

Builds optimism and trust towards others. If you haven’t noticed, our culture has experienced a drastic drop in public trust. We tend to stick around the people who are like us, and make caricatures of others who are different. Small talk is an effective way to break down these barriers. Simply talking to someone is enough to make you like them more, and see that the world isn’t as scary as our worst voices would have you believe.

Opens doors to new possibilities. I’ve long been a strong proponent of increasing the amount of serendipity you’re exposed to— or the surface area of unknown positive paths your life could take. Well, small talk is one of the quickest paths to doing just that. Every human relationship is a seed of potential and the more you chat with others, the better your selection will be. You don’t know what new doors will open from talking with a stranger, but we do know that most opportunities flow to those who are putting themselves out there, connecting with others, and avoiding social complacency.

The chance to make a new friend. Every friendship starts somewhere, with a single seemingly insignificant interaction, and then it grows and expands into one of the greatest gifts that life has to offer. By making more small talk, you’re increasing your odds of finding that special person whose personality just clicks with yours, and setting yourself up for years of companionship.

Eliminates boredom by adding elements of the unknown. The surest path to boredom is to remove all surprises and take away all risk. Do you hate boredom like I do? Then small talk is the adventure you need. When you open your mouth to talk to a stranger, you’re taking a small, but real social risk, but it could have a surprising and positive outcome, you never know? Say goodbye to boredom and see the world as your small talk training grounds.

Encourage good vibes everywhere.Imagine if we all went out of our way just a bit to be more friendly and open. Cracked a few jokes here, made a few witty remarks there— and suddenly leaving your home would be a social adventure and smorgasbord of good memories. Collectively we could raise the quality of vibes around us by making more and better small talk.