7 Distractions That Keep You From Living

How many people go through a large portion of their lives and realize they were just getting by?

It’s not that they had no dreams or wishes for how things would turn out, but somehow, they never got around to those plans. They end up coasting through life— getting by without ever really engaging. Just keeping their head above water so that thriving is never an option to them.

I’ve always been obsessed with squeezing the most out of my life, and so this was never a problem I thought I would wrestle with.

But desire alone isn’t enough.

What keeps people from truly living isn’t the lack of a plan or the will to achieve it, or even the circumstances around them— it’s almost always distraction.

Distraction is a sword with two edges. It’s anything that keeps us from doing the thing we’d ultimately like to be doing, if taking the bigger picture of our own lives. Sometimes we’re distracted by short term pleasures, but on the other side, we can also be distracted by our own inner struggles. 

What’s the antidote to a life of distraction? That’s not a question with an easy answer. The solution, ultimately, must be a personal one. Each of us has to figure out what we can do to focus ourselves and channel our vast energy in order to make progress. What I have universally seen is that it has to start with recognition.

You have to know what distracts you, and why.

Below I’m sharing a list of what I consider to be the most common distractions in our society today. The goal of the list is to help you hold a mirror to yourself and ask— what is consuming my best time and energy? And what is keeping me from that which I really want to pursue?

I hope it resonates and gets you to begin a more serious conversation (hopefully with a trusted friend) about how to pave a new path forward.

Indecision. Too often we get stuck in life because we fail to make hard choices that involve trade offs. We want everything, everywhere, all at once (as the title of a recent movie puts it). But this attitude of indecisiveness paralyzes us from moving forward. We end up making no choice and not getting any of the upside of simple choosing a course with boldness

Social media addiction. Any type of addiction is a huge distraction, but I’ll speak to the one I see the most and know the best. If babies have pacifiers to suck on for comfort, then screens are the great big pacifiers that adults use to soothe, comfort, and distract themselves from anything that makes them uneasy. But this is leaving us immature and distracting us from the world of people and things that are essential to a good life.

Being consumed by success. Another distraction is living to impress others, or trying to create an identity that is based on status. As humans, we’ll always care about what other people think, but it’s best to keep this circle small and focused on the people who know you best, and who measure “success” across a broader dimension than simply achievement in one narrow slice of life.

Perfectionism. Some of us create a standard for ourselves that is so high we can never really call something finished. While this seems like an audacious way to live, it is really a fearful one. Perfectionism is driven by a fear of failure, of looking silly, of not being good enough— but where in life or nature is perfection a reasonable standard? Instead, we must accept our limitations and prioritize delivering what we can with what we have. That is all we can really do, and it’s enough.

Materialism. One easy way to benchmark progress in your life is through the accumulation of wealth and material goods. Not only will these bring you some pleasure and an increase in status, the whole society is optimized towards this end— which certainly makes a task easier. There’s just one huge problem: this is a pursuit that will slowly absorb everything. You’ll never feel you have enough, you won’t be able to stop, and it will almost certainly distract you from crafting a life of purpose and deep community.

Comparison. There will always be someone out there doing something more interesting than you, making more money than you, or seemingly having a better time. This is no great tragedy, unless you make it into one. Rationally speaking, it sounds like it would make sense to demand the best, but that kind of expectation will only drive you away from gratitude— which is the simplest and most profound way to improve your life.

Living in the past or future. To really live, it’s essential to stay engaged in the present moment. Living in regret about the past or worry about the future will rob you of your ability to appreciate today. And what is life but a few thousand todays strung together into one big story. While it’s good to reminisce, don’t let yourself be troubled by decisions you can no longer change. And while it’s good to plan, let the outcomes of tomorrow worry about themselves. Live in such a way that you’ll be able to enjoy the journey along the way.