5 Mental Scripts That Rewire Your Brain for Self-Confidence

One of the most exciting aspects of personal growth is the fact that we can unlock so much potential just by changing how we think.

I can’t easily make myself smarter, physically gifted, or better looking— but changing the inner dialogue in my mind is well within my grasp, and that alone can lead to huge positive changes in my life.

In my freshman year of high school the thought of running a mile was like imagining myself not eating for an entire day.

 Sure it’s possible, but sounds really uncomfortable, and not something I’d choose to do. 

Just a year later, though, I somehow found myself on the cross-country team running miles each day. After another year I was jogging up to 10 miles at a time and running was now a huge part of my identity.

If that’s not a lesson in the power of our minds to both hold us back and propel us forward, I don’t know what is. 

Sure, I probably never had the talent to be an olympic runner. That kind of outcome requires a truly special gift. 

But most of us aren’t aiming for elite level performance in our lives. We’re trying to be happy and satisfied and kind— and most of all we just want to see progress in the areas that matter to us.

If that sounds like you too, then I’d encourage you to spend more time thinking about your mental scripts and less time worrying about the talent you may or may not have. 

Here are 5 scripts I’d encourage anyone to cultivate:

“I can do hard things”. 

 Believing that you can stick with a difficult task and it won’t be overwhelming or too much for you to handle is a powerful psychological advantage. 

Some people think they can do hard things, but they don’t really have any evidence in mind, and so they’re only believing in a generality. 

For this to work, you have to know a particular experience in mind and remind yourself that you’ve done it once and you can do it again. 

The more often you make doing hard things a habit, the more effective this script will become. You can train it like a muscle.

“I’ll get started today”.  

For much of my life I’ve been the “I’ll get started tomorrow” kind of guy. 

This sounds superficially similar to “I’ll get started” today, but is in fact closer to an opposite. 

You see, in my experience, tomorrow never actually arrives, because when you say tomorrow, you can always push it back just one more tomorrow.

One of the more shocking personal discoveries I’ve made is how long I can go on pushing things off without ever realizing my own self-deception. 

The best counter-attack is to start today and make that your life’s mantra.

“I don’t have to be perfect”. 

A lot of times when I feel stuck in life it’s because I’m endlessly looping between options in my mind.  The very opposite mindset of a doer.

Almost always these choices are relatively minor and indistinguishable without more information— and yet my desire for a perfect plan keeps me from making a firm decision.

Knowing you don’t have to be perfect is a freeing piece of knowledge. 

I don’t just mean this in the sense that it’s ok to be wrong, although that’s true too. What I mean is that a good enough plan with great execution is far better than a perfect plan that never materializes.

“I’ll just focus on what I can control”.  

We slow ourselves down by wasting time and energy on aspects of life that are outside our influence. 

Sure, these are often important pieces that will impact our future, but since we can’t actually change anything we’re far better off pushing even harder in the areas where our efforts can make a difference.

Focusing on what you can control is the antidote to a life filled with worry and anxiety. 

Narrow your focus to the new actions you want to take each day and pay attention to how much more clarity you have. 

“I can strike up a conversation with anyone”.  

One of my more controversial opinions is that every shy person should try to be more outgoing. 

There’s nothing inherently wrong with being introverted, it’s just that so many of life’s greatest pleasures are wrapped up in relationships. 

And those relationships are far more accessible to people willing to put themselves out there.

The best group to start with is the people you’re already familiar with but haven’t talked to much— neighbors, coworkers, and extended relatives who are in your orbit, but not quite friends yet. 

Coming to realize that you can talk to anyone is a superpower that I believe anyone can cultivate. 

At first it might feel a little awkward, but that will quickly fade away with practice.