What Your Clutter Is Trying to Tell You

When we think of clutter, most of us think of a messy desk or a closet that’s about to explode. Those examples are certainly true, but in my mind, the most insidious clutter is not physical at all. You have to ask yourself: why does the clutter exist in the first place? What’s driving the accumulation of stuff, or the lack of order? If you think deeply about those questions and don’t avoid them, you’ll eventually come to a realization that your clutter is revealing something deeper about yourself.

For example, procrastination itself is a kind of clutter. You know there’s stuff that needs to get done, but you keep putting it off.

Perhaps you don’t want to deal with your emotions, or you are lacking a sense of purpose, or you feel overwhelmed by all the demands being placed on you. All of those reasons and more are at the root of the clutter, and if you want to fight against physical clutter, you have to deal with the real problem— the clutter that’s in your heart or your mind.

Below I’m going to share a few examples of clutter that I’ve struggled with, and some suggestions for how we can all move past it.

You’re emotionally overwhelmed

One of the biggest causes of clutter in my life has been my emotions. When I’m in a funk, there are days I’ll leave my bed unmade, leave dirty dishes next to my computer, and let my inbox pile up with unread emails. Not only that, but I’ll skip going to the gym, and I’ll spend too much time scrolling on my phone. All of this is clutter, and it’s a sign that something has gone wrong inside my head. Thankfully, I’ve been able to recognize the behaviors for what they are and I refuse to let them become anything more than a passing phase.

You’re afraid to let go of the past

Another kind of clutter in my life comes from the fact that I’m a bit of a sentimentalist. I struggle to let go of things because I have memories attached to them, and I have nostalgia for the way things were.

This isn’t always a bad thing. I love that I value the people in my life and the experiences we share. But it can become a problem when it keeps me from making space for new memories. Or when physical objects with sentimental value begin to steal time and attention from the people in my life who are still there with me, right now.

You’re afraid to make decisions

One of my kids went through a phase where he loved collecting things. He would pick up rocks or sticks on our walks and bring them home to store with all his other treasures. The emotion that drove this particular form of clutter was a kind of indecisiveness. He didn’t want to part with anything for the fear that it might become valuable to him later. I’ve seen this same fear keep people from cleaning out their homes and parting with things that no longer bring them joy. They hold onto things for the fear that one day they’ll find a use for them, but in the meantime they’ve lost hundreds of hours of their life and their home has become a bit of an obstacle course.

You’re struggling to find purpose

There are seasons of my life when I get an unusual amount of reading done. Unfortunately these binges are correlated with a lack of purpose. I’ll be at a crossroads of some kind and unsure of which direction to head. During these times I pick up books because I don’t know what else to do. I’m hoping for something to spark my curiosity and give me a sense of internal motivation. But until that happens, the reading in my life has become a kind of clutter. It’s just a way of passing time without making a decision as to what to do next.

You’re avoiding a tough conversation

We all have a few relationships in our lives that we know we need to put some work into. Unfortunately, most of the time, this means having a conversation that might be uncomfortable at first because it requires vulnerability. As a people pleaser myself, I avoid these situations for as long as I can, especially if there’s the possibility of introducing conflict into a relatively stable situation.

I’ve learned over the years that this is just a form of clutter in my life. I’m avoiding the real work of being a friend or a husband and replacing it with casual proximity. It’s a poor trade if you ask me, because I know deep down that I’d rather have a thriving relationship than one that is half-hearted, or just a shell of what it could be.

You’re not confident in the path you’ve chosen

One of the ways I avoid making decisions is to ask too many people for advice. I’ll ask a few friends what they think, and then I’ll ask another group of people who I think might give me different input. Sometimes I’ll take it as far as asking a third group or even trying to parse clues on the internet. What I’m really doing is procrastinating the decision-making.

I’m buying myself more time by researching every possible angle of the problem, drawing out the number of paths I could take, and postponing the moment when I actually have to choose. This is a form of mental clutter. Instead of taking action, I’m just grasping for more data in the hopes that maybe the right answer will just fall or become obvious.

You’re failing to organize your thoughts

As a writer, one of my favorite procrastination techniques is to research endlessly about the topic I plan to write on. This allows me to feel like I’m making progress towards my goal, but really I’m just putting off the harder work of formulating a thesis and putting my ideas on paper. A blank page can be terrifying, and learning about a subject is a way to get your feet wet without the weight of permanence that comes with putting words down.

When I do this, it’s a sign that I’m feeling insecure or uncertain about my own abilities. It’s easier to stay in the research phase where I feel like I’m growing rather than trying to write something and risk disappointing myself in the process.

You’re not feeling motivated

One reason I tend to avoid hard things is because I’m not always in the mood for them. I’m a bit of a hedonist, in the sense that I greatly value the small pleasures in life and sometimes this means I let impulses guide me.

When I’m in a comfort-seeking phase, I start letting my obligations pile up because there’s always an easier path to reach for. This clutter builds up until I get really motivated and take a day to catch up on everything I’ve allowed to stagnate.

Clearly there’s a more balanced way to live and one that would allow me to make daily progress rather than trying to catch up in fits and starts of energy.

You’re unsure of your next step

When I feel overwhelmed, I tend to avoid making decisions. The problem is that instead of dealing with whatever was causing me stress, I just let those decisions build up into a pile.

For example, I might get behind on household chores because I’m planning a big trip, and next thing you know I’m avoiding looking at the mail because I’m afraid of what bills might have built up. Or I start ignoring my calendar because I can’t deal with the guilt of seeing how many things I’ve put off.

This kind of clutter is a byproduct of letting stress keep me from taking action. Unfortunately, even more clutter just adds to the feeling of being overwhelmed. In these situations, I remind myself to just take small actions and try to knock one thing off my list. I know that if I start small, my motivation will grow with each small win.

You’re attached to a certain identity

One of my personal experiences with mental clutter comes from my attachment to a certain view of myself. In the past, I would take on a bunch of commitments, far more than I could handle, and then realize several months later that I had spread myself too thin and had to let some things go.

The same thing can happen with physical items. You may hold onto a bunch of stuff that you no longer need because it represents a time in your life that was really meaningful to you. But in order to make space for the present, you must begin to clear out the clutter. This doesn’t mean you need to get rid of every reminder from the past; just hold on to what is most precious.

You’re easily distracted by new ideas

One of the things I love about my personality is that I get excited about new ideas. I am constantly starting new projects and embarking on new adventures. Unfortunately, I’m not always so great at finishing them. At some point, it’s easy for me to get distracted, and I start something else without finishing what I started. All of this is really just a form of clutter. It’s an inability to focus on just a single idea and see it all the way through.

What a Clutter-Free Life Looks Like

I hope you can see from the examples above that clutter is more than just a messy room. Ultimately, we get to decide what we spend our time and energy on. Clutter is a product of choosing the easiest path. Instead of facing reality, we accumulate more stuff, accumulate more projects, or simply allow things to pile up.

A life without clutter, in contrast, looks like someone who is in charge of their day and attentive to what needs getting done. They don’t make excuses. They know what they want and they take care of business in a timely and responsible way. I know that this is a person I want to be more like, and I hope to move in that direction in the years ahead as I grow.