7 Old-Fashioned Pieces of Small-Town Wisdom We Quietly Lost

There are two kinds of nostalgia, in my opinion, and both very different sides of the same emotional coin.

The one is a misplaced yearning for a past that is better than the present— a glorification of the “good ol days” that is not entirely helpful.

The other kind is a genuine longing for something that we had and have now lost. This loss leaves a hole that has not been filled in the modern experience.

In today’s article, I want to explore the latter, from my own experience growing up in a small town in rural Pennsylvania.

So much has been lost in the transition from village life to one’s lived mostly online or in big cities. I don’t think it’s romanticizing to want some of that goodness back or trying to think about what we might do today to capture that spirit in a modern way.

Close-knit community

Growing up in a small town, I was amazed at how well everyone knew each other. A shopping trip to the grocery store would likely mean bumping into a neighbor or relative, exchanging a few words, and maybe even catching up on each others’ personal lives. Small towns naturally thrum with a deep sense of belonging and intimacy. While today’s online communities connect people across the globe, the physical proximity and genuine familiarity of daily interactions among neighbors is something I think we’ve lost.

Slower pace of life

There was simply less to do growing up, and yet, in the eyes of my younger self, life seemed full of experiences and adventures, and the days were long, and the years even longer. It’s hard to recapture that sense of living in the present when there are so many demands on our time and so much to keep up with online. One thing you can do is purposely set aside more time where you’re not “doing” anything but rather just being with those you love, and find ways to enjoy the slow passing of time in one another’s company.

Regular face-to-face interactions

For all the benefits of online communication, we’ve lost the rich context of face-to-face interactions. Growing up, I remember the subtleties of expression, the comfort of a friend’s touch, or the warmth of a smile as an integral part of life. While digital communication is convenient, I believe it’s important to carve out ways to spend even more time with people in real life. There’s something about being in another’s physical presence that brings an important layer of connection between people.

Spontaneous gatherings

Small town life meant that there were few organized things to do, and so most of our fun was spontaneous. Neighbors might show up unannounced, or friends unexpectedly drop by. We didn’t have smartphones to arrange these details beforehand and so just took more risks in reaching out. If no one was home, we’d just go back or try to find them somewhere else. Today, people are more reticent about interruptions, and so I’ve noticed it’s harder to develop this kind of spontaneity without a certain baseline of comfort. So we end up planning more, which sort of reduces the casualness of the fun.

Intergenerational relationships

One thing you don’t see very much of these days is people hanging out with their neighbors. I remember traveling with my dad to see his friends or vice versa, and their kids would come along. As a result, I grew up knowing people who were much older and much younger than me. This rich tapestry of ages helped me develop into the person I am, and has shaped the way I think about both parenting and eventually reaching middle age. I think the lack of intergenerational friendships today makes it harder to make those transitions smoothly and without a great deal of introspection.

Local craftsmanship and trades

Everyone in a small town knows that there are a few people to call when something goes wrong. We had our go-to garage, our favorite store, and our choice of a handful of craftsmen when we needed a job done. Sometimes, we even did these things ourselves, which gave me a sense of pride to be learning real skills from my dad or others who worked alongside him. In today’s world, much of this physical work is lost as we focus more on various forms of digital marketing and sales or finding jobs related to the knowledge economy.

Attachment to physical places and landscapes

The fields and back roads of my small town were the only place I knew growing up. I spent more time there than just about anything. It was a place with a deep connection in me. I’m not sure if it was in my blood somehow or if it was something learned through simply being there. To this day, those places are still filled with memories for me, even as I spend most of my days in another state, raising my own four children. We were fiercely proud of being, in our case, Pennsylvanians and citizens of our local county. I think that pride is not so common in today’s world, and we miss out on some of the identity-laden benefits.

In a world of rapid change and modernization, my heart longs for the simplicity and old-fashioned wisdom of gentlemen and ladies from a bygone era. We must remind ourselves that progress doesn’t always mean better, just different. It’s up to us to decide which values we will pursue and which ideas and ways of living we want to be most important in our lives. I’m thankful for my own small-town upbringing and, in many ways, try to recreate that sense of community and old-fashioned values in the ways I live my own life and raise my children.