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We’ve all seen the gorgeous, clutter-free homes and read about the wide-open schedules of minimalism lore. These ideals are awesome at inspiring us to change our lives and are a helpful north star in guiding us in the direction of simpler ways of living.
But the actual practice of minimalism has been for me and my family, a bit more chaotic, and a good deal harder.
Don’t get me wrong, minimalism has been a benefit to my life since I first became interested in the subject back in college. It has helped me to push back against the strong forces of consumerism, distraction, and discontentment that I see as pervading modern life. Simple living has helped me to clear away much mental and physical clutter to make room for the things I value most— like family, faith, and creative pursuits.
It’s just that the practice of minimalism, in the context of a large family in the United States, is actually quite challenging. While it makes life easy in many ways, it makes it harder in others. Minimalism isn’t just a respite from a busy world, it’s a gauntlet thrown down against a much easier path in life.
Of course, I’ve come to see these challenges as necessary to a flourishing life. But I think for anyone interested in minimalism, it’s worth walking into the lifestyle with clear-eyed realism about what it will take, and the ways in which it will feel hard.
I hope these don’t scare you away, but rather open your mind to the ways in which minimalism really is a counter-cultural pursuit.
Fear of missing out on interesting ideas or experiences.
Because of my high desire for novelty, I’m always wanting to try out new ideas or potential paths to take. This pushes back hard against my desire to live simply and keep focused on my current goals, but I think the overall effect is a healthy tension between those two forces, both of which I value.
I have to admit though, that sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on a great idea and it makes the practice of minimalism feel confining. I try to remind myself that minimalism doesn’t just mean less; it means making space for what’s most important— I just have to know what that is.
A desire to feel like I’m making progress in life.
In many ways minimalism is a philosophy of contentment. It pushes you to be satisfied with less instead of grasping for more. This goes for everything from money and accolades to possessions and comforts. Minimalism says “figure out what’s enough” and stop there.
But there’s another competing desire in me for progress. I like to see my blog audience get bigger, my bank account grow, and my life get easier. My default, if I’m not actively focused on my own definitions of success, is to return to these easy benchmarks for progress.
The pressure to provide my kids with the same opportunities as everyone else.
When you’re a parent, you want to give your kids everything you can— especially when it comes to opportunities. When I see my friends busy taking their kids to sports practice and music recitals, filling all their evenings with activity, I sometimes wonder if I’m failing my kids by not offering them the same.
My wife and I chose the route of having a larger family, but not prioritizing activities outside the home. We encourage them to play with each other and neighbors and the many people we invite into our home instead. It’s a tradeoff we’ve thought about deeply, but it still can be a challenge in practice.
Wanting to experience the same comforts and luxuries as those around me.
No matter how far you’ve progressed in your development, it seems that comparison will be right there beside you. You might change who you compare yourself to, or what aspects of life you compare, but we’re always comparing.
It’s natural when we visit our friends in their homes to appreciate some luxuries they might enjoy that we don’t. And I suppose it’s natural to wish for those yourself. But unfortunately, despite years of practicing simplicity, this can still grow into a disproportionately large desire and rob me of joy for what I already have. I hope to continue to grow in this area for years to come.
Wanting the status that comes with greater wealth.
Lastly, minimalism is hard because we all crave status. And in this modern world, status is bestowed upon those with the most money, power or sex appeal. My wife and I have chosen a path to minimize those loves and replace them with greater ones— the love of God, family, friends, and the satisfaction of work and personal growth.
Sometimes those things lead to more wealth and status, but often they mean investing our time and energy differently than the rest of the world. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that at times I want both— I’d like to be both a minimalist and a high status person. The reality is that those things are often in tension, and I find great happiness in my life just the way it is. Reminding myself of these truths is just part of living intentionally, and it’s a challenge I’ll gladly take on.
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