How to Fight the Desire for More

It was an ordinary winter day. But as the dark blue Amazon van drove up and parked in front of my house, I felt something stir inside myself. 

Instead of rushing over to see what had arrived and eagerly open my new cardboard box, I felt differently this time.

Hadn’t that same van just delivered a few other packages earlier this week? How many things did I “impulse buy” recently? 

I felt guilty.

In the following days, I took some time to ponder these lingering thoughts. The truth is, it had become far too easy to keep wanting more and more. Yet, the satisfaction never arrived.

The slow, steady creep of more

As I think back on the last decade of our marriage, we both would say that our first year of marriage was one of the best. Not necessarily because we were in newlywed bliss (because that first year came as a sharp curve of learning how to live together) but because of how little we had. 

Our material possessions were few and our student loans were high. Yet we were happy and content. Our lack of things certainly didn’t limit us from enjoying life but instead fueled us to continue towards being mindful about the habits we formed in this new season of life. 

Nine years later, as I sit here and look around our home, I see how the desire for more has slowly invaded many facets of life.

The photos on Pinterest that show a more beautiful house. The women on social media who have the latest styles and home decor. Those baby gadgets that claim to make a mom’s life so much easier. 

It’s a constant flow of more. Because more is enticing and gives us an instant hit of adrenaline. 

Since that winter day when I realized how easy wanting more had been, I was determined to make a valiant effort to break the cycle, escape the hedonic treadmill, and learn to be more content with what I do have. 

I’ve learned that in order to break this cycle, there are some actions I must stop doing and ones I must begin to do in order to form new, healthier habits. 

How to fight the desire for more

To break the cycle of constantly wanting more, here are some ways that I’ve meaningfully fought against the urge and made these new habits stick. 

Stop impulse buying. This is where the root of accumulating more comes from for me, and I bet I’m not alone here. Instead of heading to the store as soon as the idea comes to mind or clicking the “Buy Now” button on my Amazon app, I’ve made a rule for myself to wait 24-48 hours before purchasing any item (other than things that are actually essential). 

Doing this has allowed me to go a few days without that item so I can determine if I actually need it. And a lot of the time I can talk myself out of that purchase because it wasn’t necessary. 

Stop comparing myself to others. Everyone lives their own lives, so wanting what others have in hopes that it’ll make my life easier and prettier will likely not satisfy a deeper desire once those items are bought. I need to live my own life, be content with what I have, and stop desiring what others have. 

Stop buying more to make myself feel better. Oftentimes, I think that I’ll somehow feel more satisfied, more organized, or more content if I just had that one particular item. Studies show that when people become more materialistic, their emotional well-being declines. 

Buying more doesn’t usually solve the problem of being more satisfied, organized, or content, but instead leads to more overwhelm of your possessions, more ungratefulness of what you actually have, more debt, and less time to spend on the things that you value most. 

Cultivate a new mindset

In order to make a positive change in this mindset, there are also attitudes that I must start doing to effectively learn how to be more grateful and content with what I do have. 

Start being mindful of what I have. In order to see what items I have, I took a deep dive at what I owned so that I can be more mindful of using what I have, not buying excess, and valuing my possessions more. To do this, examine the items in your pantry, freezer, closet, kid’s playroom, medicine cabinet, garage, and attic. 

Start being more creative by using what I have. Sure it’s nice to have a kitchen gadget that does exactly what I need, but when that situation arises, I challenge myself to think if there’s another solution to solving a problem by using something I already own. For example, did I really need to buy a garlic press when a sharp knife and cutting board seems to do the trick? 

Start allowing myself to enjoy having less. I will admit, many times it feels good to buy new items, like a new pair of sandals or another bottle of nail polish. But like I mentioned above, if the item was bought to fill a void, it usually wears off and I’m already craving the next purchase. 

We may own more than we did as those newlywed minimalists, but we’ve come to realize that even though the pull of society is constantly telling us to reach for more, we can resist the urge and learn to be content with what we have.