10 Things That Are Only Expensive Because We Make Them That Way

I’ve had an enduring interest in personal finance going all the way back to my college days when I would read the popular blog Budgets Are Sexy, along with a few others. What I enjoyed about the topic was how small changes people made in their lives would have compounding effects that radically altered their futures.

Money is powerful, of course, but what I saw was more than that. I saw that many people’s lives were only expensive because they seemed to just follow the default path laid out for them by society, and when they intentionally chose a different path, their lives opened up to new possibilities. Sometimes those people became wealthy, but in other cases, they simply found more freedom.

When my wife and I got married in our mid-twenties, we began living out some of these ideas ourselves. Our family has grown since then, and so have our expenses, but we’ve learned that with just a little outside-the-box thinking you can make your life way less expensive than the default trajectory. And because of that, we’ve had so much more time to invest in the things that matter most to us.

Here are some of the expenses we’ve been able to challenge, and the ideas we’ve played around with to keep them lower than most people. Hopefully, this list inspires you to question what parts of your own life are only expensive because you’ve never thought of them in a different way.

Eating out

We love eating at restaurants, but it definitely adds up quickly. However, we found that eating out for lunch instead of dinner can be about half the price. Also, many restaurants offer great happy hour deals. Another common practice for our family is to share a few dishes instead of each ordering our own, which is usually too much food anyway.

Food in general

It’s not just eating out that’s costly, food in general is a huge monthly expense. There are many things that you can do to lower food costs, and we’ve tried them all. Buy in bulk, only when on sale, and get the store brands instead of the name brands when possible. Stock up your freezer with the best deals and plan your meals around the items you get for the cheapest. Every little bit you save here makes a big difference over the course of a year.

Housing

One of your biggest expense categories will always be the roof you put over your head, and there’s no magic path around it. However, in the past few years, we have rented part of our house and then our guest house on the short-term rental market. This decision alone has enabled us to put more money towards our mortgage, and build other hobbies and side projects we probably wouldn’t have been able to afford otherwise.

Clothes

In the past, I used to think I needed to buy the brands and styles of clothes that everyone else was wearing. And while I do think it’s nice to dress sharply and look nice in what your wearing, those two things aren’t perfectly correlated. I’ve spent the past decade figuring out what items I actually like to wear, and learning to dress in a classic way that doesn’t go out of style. Because I like to wear the same things over and over, I only buy a few items of clothes a year, and they always get put to good use.

Entertainment

This is one of those categories that, when left unchecked, can lead to impulse spending that really adds up over time. One of our greatest choices that we’ve made as a family is to ask what kinds of entertainment we can enjoy that are completely free. This practice has led us to discover activities we enjoy doing together such as visiting new parks, going for hikes, playing board games, and going for long, leisurely walks around our neighborhood. At this point, I don’t think of these as cheaper alternatives, but simply my favorite way to fill a day.

Vacations

Taking a trip to a new place is a common way for families to break out of the rut of daily life and make some fresh memories. But spending thousands of dollars for this experience is not necessary! A few years ago we bought a used pop-up camper and began taking our young kids on camping trips instead. While this is certainly cheaper, we mostly did it because it’s a fun adventure and allows us to visit more places further from home and not be stuck in a hotel room with kids in the evenings.

Toys

As of the time of this writing, my wife and I have five kids with another on the way. While we love to surprise them with special gifts on their birthdays and other occasions, we also recognize that it’s actually a gift to not overwhelm them with too many toys which would otherwise take over the house and lead to clutter in their bedrooms. One of the things that we’ve done instead is to buy large sets of gently used toys that our kids can all play with together, and then resell them when we’re done.

Exercise

Another category where many people believe they need to spend a ton of money is in order to stay fit. In the classic book 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferris I learned about an approach to exercise called high intensity training that was both super time efficient, and required no heavy equipment. It’s a routine I’ve been following for nearly a decade and love. On top of that, through trial and error, I’ve come up with a couple bodyweight and homemade equipment exercises that I actually enjoy and keep me in shape.

Dates

If you’re in a relationship, especially a marriage, there is nothing more important than staying connected and continuing to create space to be together and enjoy each other’s company. My wife and I are fortunate to have both sets of grandparents nearby to watch our kids overnight from time to time, but we also make it a point to get time alone after the kids go to bed. You don’t need to spend a lot of money to go on great dates, just a little creativity and intentionality in your relationship goes a long way.

Gifts

One thing we all know to be true, is that the best gifts are meaningful and personal. Nobody really cares how much you spend, they just want to know you were thinking of them and put some effort into the gift. In our home, we’ve come up with a variety of traditions that bring our family together around holidays and birthdays that don’t rely on expensive gifts, and we’ve found that writing each other meaningful letters is a powerful way to show love.

Conclusion

One of the most common complaints I hear from people is that they’re frustrated with their lack of freedom and wish they had more time to invest in their interests. While I recognize that some financial struggles are due to circumstances out of our control, and are not anyone’s fault, many of us get stuck in patterns that we assume just “have to be that way.” With just a little creativity, you can clear the path towards the future you desire, and begin freeing yourself from our culture’s expensive defaults.